A Hands-Free Call
1. A middle-aged man named Dirk with two bloody stumps for hands shouts into a smartphone. He is surrounded by woodworking materials and a bloody buzzsaw.
Dirk: BRIAN! BRIAN, PICK UP! IT’S YOUR FATHER! I ACCIDENTALLY CUT OFF BOTH MY HANDS WITH THE BUZZSAW. I was able to call you by hitting redial with my nose, but I’m losing blood fast. I NEED YOU TO GET HELP RIGHT NOW!
2. Shot of the Phone. It reads “5 new voice messages from Dad” - Picture of dad looking like a total goob.
3. Brian and his friend are hanging out at a fast food restaurant. He is checking his phone while his friend eats.
Brian: UGH my dad is so lame. Just send a text, moron!