By Caldwell Tanner and Susanna Wolff
8 Classic Nerd Maneuvers
1. CORRECT-SHUN: Dude snarkily holding up a single finger.
Battle Cry: “Um, Actually...”
Usage: When one of your simple-minded friends unwittingly confuses a piece of trivia, use this move to put them in their place.
Example: “Um...Actually, the character is just called “The Doctor.” The show’s name is “Doctor Who.”
2. SCOFF LIMITS Dude holding up hands and making a disgusted face
Battle Cry: “pfff seriously?”
Usage: When some IDIOT says they like an obviously inferior show or videogame.
Example: “Pffff you seriously liked that piece-of-shit zelda clone?”
3. SHARING IS SCARING Dude leaning with a leering expression
Battle Cry: “DID YOU KNOW?”
Usage: When you slyly infer without asking that your friends wanted to know about an interesting fact you heard earlier.
Example: “Did you guys know that Cubone was originally designed to be the prior evolution of Kangaskhan?
4. RAGE FIT Dude leaning in and yelling at this computer
Battle Cry: “FUUUUUUU-”
Usage: Whenever something INCREDIBLY F*CKING STUPID happens on the Internet.
Example: “THEY CANCELLED MEGA MAN LEGENDS 3? WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU”
Usage: Whenever something INCREDIBLY F*CKING AWESOME happens on the Internet.
Example: “Philip Seymour Hoffman is gonna play Plutarch Heavensbee? EEEEEE THAT’S SO PERFECT!”
6. IN-ZONE - Dude snapping out of an intense daydream
Usage: When you’re completely zoned out and someone asks you a question.
Example: “Whu-? Oh I’m sorry, I was thinking about The Marvel Cinematic Universe and didn’t hear what you said.”
7. BATMANEUVER A dude pointing in the opposite direction, then ghosting away.
Usage: When you want to flat-out avoid an awkward situation at any cost.
Example: “Whoa look, it’s Christian Bale! Yeah, right....over...there...”
8. HOLD THE PHONE Two dudes keep interrupting eachother to check their phones
Battle-Cry: “Hold On.”
Usage: When you need to check your phone in the presence of a fellow nerd.
Example: “Ooh hold on, someone favorited my tweet!”