These are things men have said to me while we were getting to know one another that made me decide I was "too busy with work right now for a relationship."

"I usually date blondes, all my ex-girlfriends have been blonde."

"I like tall women. I mean I'm attracted to all types, but there's nothing like a long-legged tall woman."

"You have huge eyes. I'm a blue eye type kinda guy myself, but yours are kinda nice."

"See, most people would think that girl over there is too skinny, but I don't think so. Sometimes curves are overrated. Most people think really thin girls are not attractive, but I think they're hot."

"I don't have a type. Ok, maybe Kate Bosworth. Yeah, that's my type. Kate Bosworth."

"Looks aren't that important. I'm not a shallow guy. Besides, when you with someone you're not really attracted to, you can just picture yourself with someone else."

"You're a good looking chick. That's good. Looks are important. I mean, I know it's PC to say, "'oh I want her to be smart and interesting' but that's such BS."

"Are you laughing cause you think what I said was funny, or cause you want me to think you think what I said was funny? Cause, you know, I'm trying my best here, but you're the comedienne, so don't laugh at my jokes unless you REALLY think they're funny."

"I should do stand-up. It'd be a hell of a lot easer than law school."

"You know what's so funny? Midgets. Midget and retards. Ha! That's always gotta kill right?"

"Oh, well my ex-girlfriend loved reality TV, but I guess everyone's got different taste."

"Oh, well my ex-girlfriend thought that joke was hilarious, but I guess you guys have different senses of humor."

"My ex was a psycho bitch. All women are psycho bitches."

"Just so you know, my last girlfriend gave really amazing head. [wink]"

"Let's see, there was "'the environmentalist,' then there was "'the Jewish American Princess,' then there was "'the actress,' then there was "'the gymnast/nutritionist,' then there was "'hot unemployed girl,' then there was "'the academic,' and I guess you'll be "'the comedienne'. . ."

"I'm the type of guy that can be in a serious relationship with a girl for a long time and not even like her that much."

"I'm a really sensitive guy, so I'm always leading women on. It's a problem."

"I like to keep things casual. You know? Chill. I don't like making plans. If you call me and I'm free then, hell yeah, let's hang out. But, you know, I don't know cause stuff is always happening. Things are grillin' for me all the time. Shit is unexpected."

"My schedule's kinda crazy right now. I'm usually free to hang out like after midnight or maybe later . . ."

"I'm definitely ready to get married."

"So, how long do you usually date a guy before fucking him?"

"God, it's so weird. You look just like this girl I met speed dating last week."

"You know what's weird? The walls of this restaurant are the same background color I just picked out for my blog."

"I just posted about that very subject on my blog."

"It's a beer blog. It gets over 30 hits . . . a day!"

"No, don't get offended. I don't think less of you cause you eat red meat. (takes long drag of cigarette) I just might have trouble making out with you if I know you just, like, had a steak or something."

"I think we're all going to hell. Not just the Jews, everyone. We've all sinned, and stuff. It's inevitable."

"I don't like opinionated people, especially women."

"Do you like camping?"

"We should go rollerblading one day?"

"I like food; I mean you have to eat right? But I don't LOVE food. There are a million and one things I'd rather do than eat."

"Did you see that Jimmy Fallen, Queen Latifah movie? Comedy Gold!"

"Last night I got so drunk I passed out on the street. Don't know how I got home. It was Comedy Gold!"

"Do you ever watch Newlyweds? Comedy Gold!"

"I'm digging your scarf. You wouldn't think teal would go with Burnt Sienna, but it looks really nice"

"Do you highlight your own hair, or are those copper tones natural?"

"Can I get the Pink Pussy Cosmo with extra grapefruit juice and""what do you want to drink?"

For more writing and a show schedule go to:

Mindy's Blog
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