People You Hate XXXI
Wow, it's been a long time since we had the time to hate. I've been so busy hating in the real world that I've hardly had time to hate on the internet. But lucky you, I've got a few minutes to spare and so we commence the Thirty-first edition of the Famous Hate List.
Remember, if you want your anger to be included in the Famous Hate List, send me your submission at email@example.com including your first name, last initial and school. You can check submissions as they come in at streeterseidell.com
Allan Alumni: I've been a college graduate for three weeks now. Remember that; three weeks. Yet somehow I am already being bombarded by email and "Blocked ID" phone calls asking if I would like to make an alumni donation. Keep in mind, please, that I haven't even had time to collect one paycheck from work. Now, to this guy I say this: was my parents $125,000 not enough? What kind of money do you expect a three-week adult to be willing to put up. I'll tell you what asshole, next time you call, I will donate. I'll make a generous donation of one penny a day for the next five years. That way your greedy ass is going to have to file that payment everyday and send me a receipt, you dirt bag. I have a way to save money for the college" kill you. I HATE YOU !
Megaphone Phil: When I go to work everyday, I walk. I figure it saves me about $100 a month in subway fare and I enjoy the weather. But everyday, just two blocks shy of my office stands Megaphone Phil. "CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT, FREE COFFEE, FREE COFFEE, BAGELS, EGGS, OMELETS!" It's bad enough that he's a grown man wearing a suit, tie and two foot tall chef's hat, but really, do you need the megaphone? That's exactly what I want to hear being blasted into my face every time I walk to work. Buddy, shut that goddamned thing off and talk like a normal person. It's not as if assaulting your customers is a good business policy, so why do you do it? Oh., that's right, because you're a huge fucking douchebag" I HATE YOU!
Reader Nick H. from UofC really hates: Ignorant Liberal Faggots: There are several aspects of this group to hate, and I will try to touch on as many as possible. First, these morons are usually smart, but their ignorance in the matter of politics is truly bliss. They don't know why they hate George Bush and Republicans, they don't know why they would vote for a botox inflated John Kerry or some other asshole who can't make up his mind to save his life, nor do they have any idea why they are standing in front of some obscure building holding hands and chanting like a bunch of faggots to save a lab rat. Mind you that rat would be living in some filthy sewer fighting over yesterday's feces. Instead of focusing on the negative, let's focus on what these fags do know. MTV and whores like Christina Aguilera told them that this was the "cool" thing to do (try flipping to the news duirng one of the Ashlee Simpson's commercials), one day they will have to pay taxes too and tree hugging won't be the cool thing, and they almost always fall into another of the hategories: fags with popped collars, fags who are better than you, or white fags who sag their pants and claim Eminem to be a revolutionary. But, on the bright side once these idiots join the real world, we (the informed) will no longer have to put up with this bullshit, and I will hopefully have that same feeling I had the day after the election watching these morons cry unconsolably and reassure eachother with promises of 2008 and gay butt sex. Do everyone a favor, get informed and stop your lame one liners (no one died when clinton lied) because i don't give a fuck if you can rhyme. Liberal faggots I hate you so very much.
Reader Gwen at Colorado State really hates: all you fucking people who bitch about people who were born with money. If you were offered opprotunities without having to work your ass off for them, would you refuse them?? hell no, you'd use all your parent's money just like any other greedy person out there. You only hate people with money given to them because you're jealous, and if you're jealous-then you should just freaking admit it. I hate you jealous bitches!
Reader Frank G. really hates: french people, last summer i went camping in France for a couple of weeks and everything was cool until this one campsite where we did nothing but mind our own fucking business when a small group of french fucks who came from an even bigger group of french fucks began to start shit. They start saying shit like "its your fault for the war" in their fucking stupid accent, yes you know what its my fault for the war, mine personally especially because i wasn't old enough to vote in 2000 to elect bush into office but still just because i was born in the united states means the war in Iraq is my person fault and responsibly. of course they said this before throwing a large pot of water on us at fucking 10:00 at night we NOTHING to them mainly because it was a teen tour and if we started a fight we would be sent home and 4,000 dollars down the shit hole. and of course they outnumbered us 16:50 so that added to our dilemma. The absolute worse part of it was not only that they hated Americans but also that at like 12 at night they had a party playing AMERICAN music! FUCKING HYPOCRITICAL DIP SHITS!! when i go back I'm kicking ass and taking names, fucking french people.
Reader Matt J. from Omaha, Neb. Really hates: Ruth my Roommate's Girlfriend: I fucking hate you Ruth because you think you know everything like you're MacGyver or some shit. I know you're just repeating words your professor said during the lecture of your 101 class because hey, I took that fucking class three years ago! You're a stupid bitch who comes in my apartment and tells me to rearrange my living room. The sunlight through the window will make it so I can't see what's on TV if I do it your way. Why don't you go get some common sense and eat a can of shut-the-fuck-up before I slap that that stupid "I'm above everyone else" expression on your stupid face! Did you seriously say that oranges are full of acidic acid? WTF Did you read that in the latest copy of Highlights you pathetic cunt? So I started watching Full Metal Jacket one night and you pop out of my roommate's bedroom and sit on the couch while I'm watching. Two minutes later you actually say that you don't like the movie and you think it's stupid? Well, Stanley Kubrick fucked your grandma until SHE was stupid! If you don't like my movie, that's great. DON"T FUCKING WATCH IT THEN! Why do you feel the need to tell me to "stop taking the Lord's name in vain"? You did it yourself just now you God damn hypocrite! And why do you keep listing off the foods you hate? I get it that you only eat Taco Bell or fried rice, but I still don't give a sweet shit! And take a shower WITH SOAP for once. You smell like a hamster crawled up your ass and died. I'd rather have my penis forcibly removed with a set of jumper cables then deal with your shit. You are the bane of my existence you little whore! The only reason you're dating my friend is because you have him wrapped around your finger. Oh, and so you can RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE! I don't want to see your grandma panties anymore. Get some fashion sense. I should strangle you to death with your own sweat pants and your B.U.M. hoodie. Go back to the swamp you came from you fucking leech! I hate you!
Matt Also Hates: I hate you margarine! You are nothing but a butter wannabe. You will never have the creamy taste of butter, you fake fuck-goo. Michael Jackson's nose is less fake than you. You are nothing but edible ass cream that tastes like shit and even gives people the shits. Why don't you go back to the vegetable you came from you pile of cum nuggets! I hate you!
Reader Steve from UB: those people that are constantly complaining about protesters because they think they are all hippies. They always say the hippies are so fucking stupid because if they were in whatever country we invade they wouldn´t be able to protest because its a horrible dictatorship and they would be killed instantly for expressing their points of view. Then they go on to say I LOVE AMERICA GOD BLESS AMERICA FUCK YOU HIPPIES I have only one thing to say to them. FUCK YOU FACISTS. You say you hate these hippies because they are protesting something the government is doing and they wouldn't be able to do that in other countries WHICH JUST SHOWS THE FUCKING POINT OF LIVING IN AMERICA, THE ABILITY TO SAY FUCK YOU GOVERNMENT, YOU ARE WRONG. If you are "behind our country no matter what it does because that's patriotic" THEN YOU´RE A FUCKING DUMBASS. THATS FUCKING FACISM YOU DUMBFUCK. Also, enough with the God Bless America shit. As im stealing from another collegehumor column right now, AMERICA IS BLESSED SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY. Oh and for all you pro-life people. By law a person is a person WHEN HE IS BORN. pro-life argument: by church law a person is a person when the sperm and egg meet. EVER HEAR OF SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE DUMBFUCKS?!
Reader Susannah from Deleware really hates: my fashion Nazi anorexic roommate. The only thing more annoying than how she sleeps all day and monopolizes the goddamn phone is the way she purposely brings up how she didn't eat anything in the last two days. I don't care. Starve. Actually, wait, I take it back. The most annoying thing is eating with or around her. Don't go to the dining hall and make a cup of tea and then criticize what I eat. I don't care that the milk in my cereal is not skim milk. I don't care that my slice of pizza might be (gasp, the horror) three hundred calories. Additionally, please don't tell me that you're "so bloated" with "water weight" that you feel like a size six, not a four. The next time you look in the mirror, sigh in disgust, and go "I'm so fat," I'm going to agree with you and then eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's right in front of you. I hate you.
Reader Sommor really hates: Mr. 360: The boy that you know who is sweet, sensitive, funny, everything you want in a man, when you're alone, but then as soon as one of his "buddies" are around he turns around 360 degrees, and acts like a total jerk-head. He's mean, snide, perverted. ugh, it makes me so mad! So, Mr 360, FUCK YOU!
(EDITOR'S NOTE: "jerk-head" nice.)
Reader Jessy from MTSU really hates: Dr. Phil. I hate him with a passion. My roommate watches everyday, so on the 2 days a week I don't work at 3, I have to listen to him drone on and on about how to be the perfect parent, all while imagining different ways I'd like to torture him. My roommate says she learns stuff, how to be a good mom, how to be a good wife, whatever, but I'd really like to see how his fucking family likes him. I bet they hate him just as much as I do. I mean, he fucking exploits famillies, making them talk about their stupid problems that no one cares about (so your 19-year-old "innapropriately touched" your 4-year-old you're a bad parent!) and is he even a real doctor? How many times did he have to eat Oprah's pussy to get your own show? I figure we're all gonna be shitty parents, let's at least realize it and enjoy sex without strings attached while we can. Then we can all go to shrinks and hear about our problems and not make the country listen in. DIE DR. PHIL!!
Reader Aimee in Colorado really hates: Mr. And Mrs. Carefree, Who are these people who can just sit around on the Pearl Street Mall all day and bask in the sun rays? I get so jealous when I'm scuttling between meetings and interviews and I pop my head inside a coffee shop to get my caffeinated liquid breakfast/lunch/dinner and I see people just sitting at the tables reading a book and relaxing. How unfair. Or while, as I'm driving through work, weaving ferociously through traffic, honking and screaming, and I see someone slowly walking their dog down the sidewalk, da da da, sure we have time for you to sniff that, Foofoo! Or when I see people browsing slowly through Banana Republic while I'm off to another work appointment, and even if I had the money to buy that pearl-studded broach they're trying on, I wouldn't have enough time to seek it out. Sometimes I want to go up to these people and be like, "What is your job? And are they hiring?" I need someone to explain to me how, on any given sunny afternoon, there are at least 3,000 people with nothing to do except stroll down Pearl Street. Don't they have bills to pay? Don't they have laundry to do? Don't they have consideration for poor, overworked freaks like me? Seriously, some people are so rude.
Reader Vincenza at Norwich U. really hates: the fucking janitor in my dorm. It seems like just when he gets consistient with the time he cleans the bathroom in the morning (before 7 a.m.), BAM, i go to take a shower at 8 and that fucking "closed for cleaning" sign is hanging in the doorway. WHAT THE FUCK! 8 A.M. IS WHEN PEOPLE NEED TO TAKE SHOWERS TO BE CLEAN FOR CLASS!!! Also, this asshole has a tendency to stand outside the bathroom waiting for whoever is in it to leave for like all of eternity. God dammit, pick up your sponge and wash a wall, clean the lugies out of the water fountain or something useful rather than standing there creeping all of the girls on the floor out when you BLATENTLY stare at us in our bathrobes en route to the shower.
Reader Nick P. at Clemson really hates: I, along with everyone else on this godforsaken planet, hate YOU. Yes. You. You miserable, sperm gurgling fuck-knuckle. You sit there with your corpulent ass glued to the chair for so long that it screams for mercy, begging you to PLEASE get up and go for a nice jog, or perhaps even a refreshing swim in a human waste refinery. You shovel enough swill down your massive gullet to choke an elephant, and still have the nerve to come to my house and claim to be starving. You don't fool me one bit you rancid repulsive shit-bird. And I swear to Christ, the next time I see you reach into my fridge and your swollen hand that closely resembles a fucking Honey Baked Ham comes back out containing one of my Bud Lights, I swear by all that is holy I'll end you slowly. You won't even get a chance to pop the top, you hideous lard bubble you. Looking at you clogs my arteries. If I ever, in any way desired the company of a retarded sea-donkey, I'd genetically engineer one. Then I'd kill it because it looked to much like you. And yes, there are many beautiful lakes in this area, and many people like to take advantage of the cool, clean water on days when the heat becomes totally oppressive. However, If I ever see you floating around on the surface of the lake like a giant, ugly turd again, I will not be held responsible for my actions, which may or may not include tying a large rock to your leg and sending your fat-ass sea-worthy. Your posterior looks like a wet pillow case full of hot cottage cheese, and in no way lends itself to wearing a thong. Last week, you went to the liposuction clinic, and the receptionist took one look at you and asked, "Are you fucking kidding me??" The only reason I said ever said hello to you was because I was saddened by watching you cry into your gallon tub of double chocolate chunk ice-cream, and thought that you needed a friend. And I, who have never been one to be shallow, mistakenly thought that since you were so offensively obese, you had to have something going for you in the area of personality. How wrong I was In hindsight, I see that your industrial sized spoon has always been, and always will be, your closest and only comrade. In closing, you are lazy, you are stupid, no one likes you, and I want to break up with you, because you are a hairy, inept, insufferably insecure heffer. In the immortal words of the contemporary poet and literary genius, Dave Chappelle, and I'm paraphrasing mind you, "I hate you. I hate your fucking guts. I hope that all of the bad things in the world happen to you. And nobody else. But you." My hatred for you runs so pure and deep, if I bottled it, it would cost a thousand bucks for a 12 ounce serving. You are living proof that God has made at least one mistake, and I think I hate him as well because he created you. Thanks a pile for ruining my life, and my afterlife. You dumb bitch. I HATE YOU!!
Reader Steven From High School really hates: CAPS OF SLURPEE'S. By no way am i hating on the slurpee itself, slurpees are great. I just fucking hate the noise the straw makes with the lid. I know that i am not the only one who cant stand it. It feels like somebody scratching fingernails on a chalkboard. Couldn't the bastards at 7-11 design a cap that doesnt make you not cringe. The slupree just might be the best thing since sliced bread, but its only dark side is the shitty ass annoying fucking caps.
Maddie F. from Portland really hates: Paul You're-So-Pretentious. You know the kind the premed guy you barely know who insists on sitting at your table (where you're carrying on a conversation about, say, Nabokov with someone who, like you, CARES about Nabokov) and then later tells everyone and their mother about how pretentious you are and how bored they were when you insisted on talking their ear off about literature crap (or philosophy, or whatever). Listen, fucker. JUST ADMIT YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I WAS SAYING. I don't know jack shit about glucosadeoxyphobamines or whatever the fuck you study, and I sure as hell don't hang around you whenever you're talking about them. So step fucking off! Tonight we can get crunked and I'll tell you all about my sex life or gossip about my roommate or talk to you about how much you fucking miss "Friends" or whatever, but let me have TWO MINUTES of conversation with someone who likes my "pretentious" interests as far as I'm concerned, as long as I'm not trying to show off about how I understand Nietzche and you don't, I'M NOT PRETENTIOUS. YOU'RE JUST A STUPID ASSHOLE. Get a life or go sodomize yourself with a chainsaw, cause I HATE YOU!
Maddie also hates: Freddy We're Just Friends. The guy who will never, ever, EVER catch on to the fact that you're not dating him anymore nope you don't want to go to a movie with him you don't need a back rub and for fuck's sake you DON'T want your hair played with! You broke up with him because he was always flirting with his ex-girlfriends and trying to get some ass from them, and now he's doing it to you, and he won't stop no matter what you do. The only solution is a 2×4 to the head or a restraining order and both of those require a lot of time in court. So Freddy, you fucker, get your wandering hands off me, stop calling, and stop 'accidentally' showing up in my dorm! I HATE YOU!
Reader Phil L. really hates: people that are always in a rush no matter what the destination. They race to work at 2 miles an hour in morning changing lanes constantly thinking one lane is faster that the other. The whole time honking their horns as if the sound will help the fact everyone is in the same boat. Now mind you if they had gotten up when they set their alarms they could have beat all this mess and driven to work as if they were in the Indy 500. Then after work its the same running of the gauntlet on the highway. Even fast food is to slow for these people and you always see them bitching up a storm if their order is not done in 2 minutes. They are a disgrace to the human race and make everyone look like assholes. And would it hurt to just save us the "do you know who I am!" speech and go home and fuck yourself.
READER ON READER HATE
Reader Hew of Adelaide U really hates: George C B. of U. of Melbourne. You fucking racist fuck. Fuck you, fucking fucker. Go fuck yourself, fucking cuntrag. I fucking hate you!!!
Reader Alan Z. of New York really hates: Steve from UB. I am behind most everything the country does, but when i dont agree with something what do i do? do i get a fucking pansy ass sign and whine about it? no. i harass my moron representative in congress and tell someone that matters, that im pissed off. and of course them being a politician will tell me theyll try to work on it but they wont. doesnt matter to me though cause i at least told someone important and had them listen to me. o yeah and you are a pussy. You want to tell me that if i went to Saddam Hussein and complained about something i didnt like, he wouldnt kill me? yeah right, he was a power hungry psycho but you knew what was up with him. you kept your head down or you got it cut off. i am pro-life because i dont think that some court should decide when human life matters or not, not to mention the fact that one of the women, either Roe or Wade, i forget which one (the one that wanted abortion legalised) has expressed the opinion that abortion is wrong. so what do i have, a moral point of view and a former proponent of abortion saying abortion is wrong, I think that she may have a point. What the fuck do you even understand the concept behind the seperation of church and state you dumb fuck. They wanted the state out of church and the church in state, but no liberal hippies like you, fucking moron, think it means that religion should not play at all in everday life. Guess what? you thought wrong, dumb shit. good thing saddam hussein doesnt rule the usa though cause she would have died long before the case was heard o and you would have died long ago for your pussy-assed whining. go learn something that a high school student didnt already know more about (drinking doesnt count or whining) fuck you. pussy-ass liberal dick.
Reader Jessy from MTSU really hates: Tell PJ at USMSC that some of us still want to ENJOY college without thinking about the horrors of the "real world," and thank you very much, but I really don't want to be reminded of it. I have one year until I'm cast out there, and for that year, I plan on bitching about my job, even though it's easy, and classes before noon (jesus christ, if you don't consider 8:00 A.M. early then when do your classes start? Some of us are just going to bed at 5) and once I graduate, I honestly don't plan to not have to work 15 hours a day seven days a week .and if I do, I'll just bitch even more, because I'm a girl and that's what I do. Fucking get used to it, or stop complaining about the fact that you have no life because of your stupid job.
And Mr. Hypocritical Howdy AK? Stop harping on other people about spelling,
(EDITOR"S NOTE: The real world is awesome" trust me. I've been a grown-up for almost a month now and I eat candy every night for dinner and ride a magic marshmallow train to work!)
HATER OF THE MONTH" 3-WAY TIE!
Reader Colin really hates the following: I REALLY hate Adam the Pussy. You know the guy, that cowardly little fuck that'll talk shit on you to no end, until he has to stand up to you and pay for the shit hes said. The type of fag that keeps the local police on speeddial because he knows Someone has his number and a few of his unbroken bones are shortly going to be otherwise. I really hate that guy. I also hate ex-girlfriends protective brother. This is the guy that talks shit on his sister all the fucking time, then when she dumps you he wants to get all defensive. Hey dipshit, I'm the one who asked your fucking sister how her day was and defended her for the last year and you want to get on MY ass? I fucking hate you.
I also hate Self Fellating Professo. This is the prof. that thinks they're soooooooooo fucking smart because they're teaching something like "Public Speaking" or "Bio 101". Get over yourself asshole. This isn't ! an Ivy league school and you're not a genius. You're an overweight, balding, arrogant cocksucker. If I knew which car was yours I'd slash all your tires and smash your headlights with a bat. I hate you.
I also hate ex-girlfriends. You think you can do better than me? I hope you get knocked up by a foreigner and hemmorhage and bleed to death you fucking whore. I hate you
I also hate the people who can't shut the fuck up in the library. It takes me 10 minutes to walk to the library. I go there to find a little peace and quiet to study in. I guess thats too much to ask though. Theres always some half-retarded meatheads laughing at fart jokes and spitting chew into bottles, or a mother who thinks its ok to bring her family to the library to study. Listen you saggy-titted waste of oxygen, those two little brats you squeezed out do not pay tuition, hence they do not belong in the library. Either shut the fuck up or stay out of the library. I hate you people.
I also hate confuse-the-class guy. Hes the guy who makes a simple question into a big fucking deal because hes not satisified being stupid and confused himself, he wants to make the rest of the class confused too. The following is an example of what confuse-the-class guy does. prof."Mr. confuse-the-class, could you give us the answer to 2+2?" CTCguy "Sure wait what page are we on? Oh ok I got it now, that would be uh ..lets see here. Oh thats x2+3. Wait thats not it, I must've been looking at the wrong number. Oh, thats, well .6 yeah 6." by that this time no one in the class knows what the fuck is going on. I'm ashamed to say I go to a college where people that stupid can get accepted. I hate you confuse-the-class guy.
Reader Darin D. hates the following: People who don't shut the fuck up during the National Anthem. Like your conversation is so important that a little thing like showing some respect for the flag people have died to protect cannot be interrupted. You are a fucking toolbox. Take off your sideways ball cap, look at the flag and shut the fuck up for 2 goddamn minutes. Fucking disrespectful retard, I HATE YOU!!!
Idiotic punk fuckers that go to movies to provide commentary to those they are with. Do you think that everyone can't hear your dumb ass? Or maybe you know they can and you think you are funny or witty. You are a dip shit little tool who needs to be beaten with a barbed wire laced bat until you cant talk. Shut the fuck up and enjoy the movie. I hate you.
Cashiers at the grocery store that say "Did you find everything you were looking for?" First of all, you could give a shit less. Second, what if I didn't find what I wanted? You gonna go back in the stockroom and shit me one? Idiotic questions should carry an immediate death sentence to the douche bag that said it. I fucking hate your ignorant ass!!!
NASCAR. Enough said? no. Its one big left turn people. Sure they throw three times as many cars out there as is safe but fuck it, they are all rednecks who grew up saying "Hey, watch this " These ass clowns call this a sport? I fucking hate it.
The fucking morons that put "systems" in their car that sound like shit. Who cares if you have 8 15" woofers if they sound like shit. Quality dickhead, not quantity. I hate you, you fucking reject.
Finally, Jay T, angriest hater of the month, really hates: Ex-wives who rebel"
I fucking hate it when you are a preppy in high school and you want nothing more to do in the world then to be the starting point guard and get the head cheerleader. Well, how about settling for JV point guard and the cheerleader who's on the base of the pyramid? HA! Worked for me. So what happens after highschool if you stay with your voluptuous high school sweetheart? Lemme tell ya.. you fall for the "L" bomb. "L" bomb will screw your life up guys. It's another way of saying "Hey, lets say one little four letter word to get some more nookie cuz pookie ain't feeling 'secure' and wants to know it's 'real'." Second, you fuck up and buy her a ring. It showz how dedicated and loving a person you can be with your "soulmate" b/c you guys have the "perfect" relationship. It keeps spiraling until you get married, watch the bitch drop out of college b/c she wanted the 5'2 imbreed of a Mexican who works at a local pork processing plants who makes more money than you do b/c the poor fucka don't pay taxes. You can't get a job b/c more of them little bastards are populating your small rural town and the next thing you know YOU'RE THE FUCKING MINORITY. Then it continues on to the fact that not only can you not get a job, your parents are pissed cuz they don't like the bitch in the first place and they are tired of being hit up for money.. the stereotypical new-age Midwestern bitch decides to start a meth habit. No folks, not the nice city-form of meth that is basically dirty cocaine, we're talking about Anhydrous-ammonia mixed with a little ether and some sudafed. Yummy huh? Makes me fucking sick. Then.. If it ain't bad enough your significant fat ex-cheerleader, mexican-fucking, tweak-abusing, college-dropout other isn't working.. Somehow they find time to go to clubs and screw half your fraternity so when you come to work at Little Caesar's after class the next day your bro can tell you "Hey, wasn't that your wife getting a train pulled on her by Steve, Jon, Zweer, Bob, and James? Well, I took a pic just so you could see for yourself?" Then..You finally get smart. You quit getting drunk and you quit trying to fight every other drunk college kid yourself, mexican, or etc. b/c you've buried yourself in so much self-pity you don't know how to control yourself. You finally divorce the bitch b/c you realize you got a brain. Not that easy, guys. Plan on the bitch trying to run you over 3 different times with your own car, attempting to steal a car stereo out of your car and getting busted, then the 47 timing pro decides to set your car on fire and ooohhhh nooo.. You won't answer the door b/c you've got 2 whole grams of kryptonite sittin' on your coffee table so the police conveniently kick your door down to tell you.. "Son, your car is on fire. OOOHHHWEEE, is that marijuana I see? Well, let's search the house" Then.. you're in jail. You're sitting there while someone is breaking into your apartment stealing all your shit b/c your ex-wife has nothing better to do than to jack your shit. Couldn't even let the poor cat live. This line is in dedication to Q. For the 3 weeks you sat in my house and that bitch didn't feed you. Then.. you get out of jail thanks to your Dad. You lose your job at the bar b/c you've been in jail. You get to work construction until you can buy a car. You finally get somewhere when you can finally quit the backbreakin' shit and try to settle so then. You move and finally get away from the drama. In the end, you end up back in college,you end up w/ a girl 80 lbs. lighter and no crank habit, 1000 miles away from the place where yo psychotic ex resides in her hut with her 12 pack of Natural light, a nice needle, and a lot of food b/c thats the one thing Bush does like to pay for is unmotivated people who don't want to work a day in there life using a kid as an excuse for a welfare check.
So, I guess..
I FUCKING HATE FAT EX-CHEERLEADIN', EX-FELON SPIC-BUFFIN, WELFARE-LOVIN, NATTY-GUZZLIN , CAR STEALIN' NARKIN', WHITE TRASH THAT WISH THEY WERE ON MAURY.. women.
That's all! Remember to join me next month for the Famous Hate List and send me your submissions at firstname.lastname@example.org!