Last week, we asked you guys if you had any questions you'd like to ask Deuce Bigalow star Rob Schneider. Well we asked, and he dished!

Ryan Wolf of the University of Illinois writes:
There is a commonly proffered theory that being famous is like having the key to a room full of pussy. I was willing to dismiss this as something that applied to the Brad Pitts and Derek Jeters of the world, i.e. people who could pull mad tail anywhere. However, I recently watched an episode of Pauly Shore's new reality show and even this ass clown has bitches all over him. He even claims to be a sex-a-holic.Is their any truth to the afore mentioned theory, and in what way have you experienced this phenomenon yourself? Please be candid. (I would like to add that I am in no way comparing you to Pauly Shore.)

You should read Henry Miller, the author of Tropic of Cancer and Tropic of Capricorn and a bunch of other great books, and he said I've seen the ugliest men have the most beautiful women and he said like women are able to see past that. He said I think some of the homeliest men can get the most beautiful women, because women aren't into the parts the way guys are. Guys are into tits, they are into ass and they're into the face, but women look at the whole thing and if you're funny, and if you have confidence, and if you can confer those things into success in your chosen fields you will have the poontang, my friends. You will have it coming out your ears. But it's about if women can sense something special about you and want to be part of it. That's what it is, and that's what works for me. And yes, I get a lot of, as you say, pussy. And much better than Pauly Shore. My pussy is better than his.

Clinton Harland of UCLA writes:
We've all had fantasies, but what's it like actually working with Jean-Claude Van Damme? [in the 1998 film Knock Off]



Great access to blow. But I think now he's clean – but when I was working with him he was dirty. I enjoyed it actually. I like doing action films; I'm dying to do another one. It was fun. Fun and dangerous. We were in an abandoned soy sauce factory in the script and I said "Jean, this really looks authentic," and it really was an abandoned soy sauce factory. I had fun. It was a little crazy because we were in Hong Kong during the handover. So it was interesting. But he can do the splits, and sometimes he will do them in the middle of dinner. He's much funnier in French than in English.

Bonnie Hode of Northwestern writes:
Are any of the girls in the Deuce movies based on real dates? Even a little?

I've had some bad dates, but none with uncontrollable swearing. But I have been out on a blind date with a girl who was kinda bigger; she was about 6'2 and then she wore shoes so she was a giant. Literally just dwarfed me. It did make leg wrestling more interesting. There is one girl in the movie from Chernobyl whose mom worked at a nuclear reactor, and instead of a nose she has something else growing on her face. That's a slightly exaggerated real date.

Brad Buhl of Berkeley writes:
Have any real life gigolos contacted you regarding inaccuracies in the movies?

I always think it's fake because any woman can get a guy just by going into a bar. The whole idea of the first American Gigolo was just a joke because this supermodel Lauren Hutton wouldn't need to hire Richard Gere; she can get any guy she wants, basically. That's what made me want to write the movie. But we go to Europe this time, and I was thinking it would be fun to have a whole union of man-whores, they have a man-whore pension and a dental plan and different sexual techniques. When I was in Amsterdam a bunch of prostitutes were fans of the first movie and, believe it or not, in Thailand it's popular. So when I was on a boat going through a canal in the red light district I had Thai hookers coming out, waving at the boat, and it was a very unusual night of my life.

Bill Sampson of the University of Kansas writes:
Did you actually research man-whore-ology?

It doesn't actually exist, so that was the fun of making the movie: it's a world to create. And I thought if they did exist, they would be in Amsterdam. And no, doing the movie in Amsterdam wasn't only because of the marijuana and prostition, Amsterdam as much more. There's also mushrooms and hashish.

Darren Laufer of Michigan State writes:
It's been six years since Deuce Bigalow 1, will we have to wait until 2011 for Deuce 3?

Deuce Bigalow 3: Time-Whore! Maybe, I'm thinking about it. But if people like part 2 enough, I'll do another one. I never had intention of doing a sequel but I kept hearing about it everywhere I went and I thought, you know, it would be fun to work with Eddie Griffin again as my he-pimp, and I thought it would be fun to have some different clients who are much weirder than the first movie if that's at all possible. That's kinda why we did the second one, so I think 2008.

Will Humphries of Virginia Tech writes"
What catchphrase do you hear the most often on the street?



People just usually yell "Deuce Biaglow!" at me. And I still get "You can do it!" once or twice. I still get the copy guy, but only from old people. I'm doing Adam Sandler's next film, it's called Click, and I play Prince Habeeboo, everyone always pronounces his name wrong, so I think that's the next thing people are going to yell at me.

George Muck of Michigan State writes
Rob, can you make up an obviously false anecdote about your time on Saturday Night Live?

There was this time Chris Farely stuck me and Norm Macdonald in his asshole. We were just sitting down at the writers table, having our breakfast, and Chris Farley just grabbed us and shoved us in his asshole. We played cards for an hour until he farted. While we were up there, we saw Janeane Garofalo, actually. She had been up there for quite some time.

Thanks to everyone who wrote in questions, and to Rob for taking the time to answer them!