For those of you who don't know, Manscaping is the term used for the strategic de-hairying of the male body. Manscaping has been around for thousands of years, but went out of style from about 1000 AD till 2001. Lately, thanks to, ya know, "'those types,' manscaping has become fashionable again and girlfriends across the country are breathing a non-pubic-hair-choked sigh of relief.

Being properly manscaped has many benefits: less rashes, bigger looking genitals and a more defined taint, which is something we all want. But the true joy of manscaping is the endless creations of body hair arrangements that can be made. With a simple razor, some soap and an understanding roommate you can turn your hairy Italian pubic region into a literal canvass of sensuality. Sure, stubble is trouble but your wiener is cleaner" and thus ends the rhyming portion of this article.

Many men prefer to just go with the high-and-tight; trimming and shaving only the front portion of the pubic area. While this is the easiest and safest manscape, it really isn't enough. The high-and-tight is a lot like Washington, DC: it looks good from far away but the closer you get the more dirty homeless people – or, in this case, unsightly long pubic hairs – you see. Don't be half-assed when it comes to manscaping, commit yourself. After all, there is a good chance you could get caught in the act – a razor between your legs and soap in your hand – so you may as well make it worth the risk.

I suggest going for a full deforestation. Not only should you clean up the front, but get into all those places that haven't been seen since your mom was wiping your ass nineteen years ago. This, sadly, will require you to look down there" be strong, friend. "Oh my God," you'll gasp, "There's a whole tropical eco-system tucked between my upper thighs." Yes there is and no, there aren't any neat monkeys" just pubic lice, skin infections and mold. Don't spend too much time admiring the scenery, though; you've got work to do. Start in the back and work your way forward, clear-cutting the brown valley and the twin peaks along the way. In about half an hour (add 1 hour if Russian) rinse off and admire your handiwork. If you need further proof that your genitals look scrumptious, I suggest sitting down nude on a sofa and showing your roommates what a great job you did. "Look at me," you can scream at them, "I'm in middle school again!" They'll laugh, but only because they're perverts.

Of course, manscaping isn't for everyone. Many insecure men find it "'gay' and insist that their girlfriends love their thick matte of nether-hair. This, of course, is false. Girls like an unkempt down-under about as much as they like it when you spend forty minutes on the toilet. Plus, what would you think if your lovely girlfriend showed up one night with a 70's style pube-do in her pants? How happy would you be then? Exactly. You have to give to get and if that means spending half an hour bent over in front of a mirror clutching your roommate's Mach3, well then you're just going to have to suck it up and get the job done.