The Olympics just wrapped up, apparently, and to help get over the athletic hangover here are some things the entire world thought while watching superior humans compete against one another:
2. Everybody sing: "The Jamaicans have a relay team".
3. Beach Volleyball needs more jumping, bouncing, and bending. (Particularly the male players)
4. Watching NBC primetime coverage is the most difficult event.
5. If Lolo Jones has never had sex, then Michael Phelps has never done drugs.
6. The Olympic flame is that large so it can light Zeus' cigar.
7. Hurdles is just the opposite of a limbo race. (Which should be an Olympic event.)
8. Who were half of those musical acts during the Opening and Closing Ceremonies?
9. Those female gymnasts must have the worst wedgies.
10. Hawkeye and Katniss Everdeen made Archery seem way cooler.
11. How many rows of seating would be soaked if a weightlifter did a cannonball from the 10m board?
12. Oscar Pistorius runs like the T-1000 (the bad guy) in Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
13. How many swimmers urinate in the pool? (Seriously, I would be surprised if it didn't contain more gold than the actual gold medals.)
14. High Jumpers would have no problem getting into the top bunk.
15. WTF is up with the cyclops mascots?
16. Does the horse get the medal in equestrian events? (I want to see a horse stand at attention during the national anthem.)
17. Slamball needs to be an Olympic event.
18. This basketball team still isn't as good as the time USA sent Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes to represent Earth in the Intergalactic Games.
19. The male athletes have bigger chests than most of the women competing.
20. Did that Feck guy's dive actually happen? That was amazing! Look it up right now!