It's been so long since we've had a chance to spread the hate a little bit. For those of you new to the game, it's very simple: you send me you hate, I put here and the rest, as they say, is history. You can check out all the hate coming in at The Famous Hate List and send me your stuff at Streeter@streeterseidell.com, just make sure to include your name, school and whether or not you'd like to be added to my subscriber list. Also, swing by StreeterSeidell.com if you've got a minute. Now, let's get to it.
Big Umbrella Ben: Hey, I hate getting rained on just as much as the next guy, but seriously man, do you need at 10×10 umbrella to keep you dry? Come on asshole, you walk down the street holding a goddamned sail over your head. If there were any justice in this universe that bitch would catch some wind and send you flying down the street. What's worse is that you have no idea how to wield such a powerful tool. You have that thing swinging every which way, dumping water on people and nearly tearing my eye from the socket. I guess in a city where no one drives a car, an huge umbrella says the same thing as a massive SUV: I have a tiny dick an I'm making up for it by having this huge toy. Well guess what, dickhead, nobody is impressed by your tarp-on-a-twig so get yourself a normal umbrella and learn that having a moderately wet shoulder isn't the end of the world. God, I Hate You!
Nerd-hating Ned: Man, you're like a character out of a bad 80s movie. Yes, I work on the internet. Yes, I know a teeny, tiny bit about how computers work. And yes, I happen to enjoy knowing that small amount of information. Does that make me a nerd? I frankly don't care. But you, you're all about calling anyone who doesn't work in banking a "nerd," like that actually means anything anymore. How long has it been since that insult sent anyone running from the playground in tears? Ten years? Fifteen? It must have been tough not having anyone like you when you were a child and turning your own self-hatred on kids smaller than you. Too bad you never grew out of it. Grow up you stupid shit. Oh, and I could still kick your ass if you ever want to throw down by the monkey bars after work, douche. I Hate You!
Jennifer W. really hates: hate bosses that chastise you because of things that they haven't gotten clear. I mean, when the prick tells me to do one thing, like five minutes later the asshole is telling me that I need to be doing something else. GET IT THE FUCK STRAIGHT then get pissed off at me for not doing something. I am so sick of his "I am army man I am a prick when I have to be" attitude. Come off it fucker. People have feelings and opinions that are a little more pronounced than yours.
Jon K of the US Marine Corps really hates: Sports Ananlysts not on ESPN or any major network. Nobody cares about your input on the Georgia/Auburn game just because you went to a school for sports management and now have a job on the Southern Alabama Sports Hour that pulls in less ratings then the Norm McDonald show. You usually have a name like Brian McFarley or something that sounds like you were once an average athlete at your small high school nobody has heard of and probably sucked more than that team Butkus coaches.
Jon also hates: MTV addicts esp. about The Real World and Laguna Beach. In case you haven't noticed, MTV doesn't show music anymore and they repeat these horrible shows over and over and over again until you can quote an entire episode. Stop watching this, and watch something else with REAL people doing ACTUAL things. And the people who think these shows aren't scripted, you suck very badly.
Ben M. from Miami really hates: Confederate Flags. Nothing says, "Hey I'm a fucking redneck" like a representation of the confederate flag on your clothing, automobile, or even in your general vicinity. Sorry to disappoint you, but the South WILL NOT rise again. In fact, one could argue the degree to which they ever "risen" to in the first place. Now, being a southerner myself I am certainly no fan of yankee northerner types, nor do I enjoy our current regime of government, however; I think it's pretty obvious that shaving your head, wearing camouflage and watching the Deliverance marathon will never re-establish our nation's capitol as Richmond, Virginia or even Montgomery, Alabama for that matter. Give it up, there is no honor is celebrating a "nation" that existed for a mere 5 years and for fuck's sakes, take the mud tires off your 2-wheel drive truck and stop fucking your cousins.
Meaghan from GW really hates: Kids who think they're rich, but in actuality if left to fend for themselves, without daddy's money, are just stupid meatheads who don't know how to do anything else but party and cheat at life. Hey, good job, you did absolutely nothing to become extremely wealthy. Great. I'm all for the fucking American dream, but please PLEASE don't tell me that you're better than me because your PARENTS can afford a black card and your spoiled ass gets to use it. Fan-fucking-tastic. I hope your parents realize what fucking degenerate assholes you are and cut you off you like grey goose? fuck you, try drinking some fucking zelco like a normal fucking college kid. I realize that its tempting, but stop fucking sitting next to me in classes and expecting me to swoon over your fucking muscles and let you cheat off me I don't think our professor is retarded enough (notice I said ENOUGH) not to realize your essay is full of words your tiny, juiced-out brain is too fucking dumb to comprehend. I hope you wake up in 10 years on a broken futon in a shitty studio apartment in Southeast DC that's filled with cockroaches you dumb fucking spoiled douche flavored cum dumpster and yeah, I think you're TOTALLY FUCKING IN THE CLOSET MR EYEBROWS WAXED DUDE IM SO DRUNK I GRAB MY FRAT BROTHERS ASSES IN A NOT FUNNY BUT TOTALLY I WANNA GET POUNDED TONIGHT way. FUCK YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU
Sara at UNCW really hates: I freaking HATE my uncle's useless good-for-nothing girlfriend that really hates you and continuously pretends not to only for the sake of remaining a fuck buddy. The stupid 30 something looks like she could easily pass for the 55+ menu and looks like a poodle who's been put through the freaking dryer. STOP causing drama in our lives and do us a favor and over-dose THE RIGHT WAY! We don't WANT to find you! You can even leave your kids and 50billion dogs and 500 sexual harassments lawsuits. The world would be a better place without you, you disgusting whiny-voiced, drama queen, thinks she has my body WHORE!!! BLAH I FUCKING HATE YOU. Nothing says 'Welcome to the family' like blind hatred! Happy Holidays!
Jeff really hates: BELGIANS!! What's up with these people? racist, biggoted, absolutely no culture, their fries are awful (they claim to have invented them) and their music stinks. Why did we give them NATO? How on earth did the EU decide to establish itself in the tiniest of villages called Brussels (one million inhabitants )?
Finally, Peter from Mesa State really hates: my douche bag roommate. My roommate always pops his collar. He wears a arm band all through out the day. He pretends to be a skater, but he can't even ride a skateboard. He says, "all sorts, mad faded, so sick, so phat, and he balls" ,after every sentence. He drinks expensive vodka. He would tell me in the morning that he had the worse night ever, because he couldn't get money out of the ATM. He goes shopping when he's upset. He goes to the gym does bicep curls and then leaves. He bitches to his parents when they won't buy something for him. He claims to have been a drug dealer in high school. I found out he wasn't. He whines. He bitches. He always wants to hang out with me. He has a wall full of posters of heavy metal bands and different rappers, when he only listens to the Kottonmouth Kings and Lil' Jon. I fucking hate you. I can't wait until you leave. You're a douche bag. Once again, I HATE YOU. Is being a drug dealer still cool? I mean, I know it was in high school, but in college? Someone let me know.
That's all the hate for now, but make sure to send yours in to Streeter@Streeter@streeterseidell.com Swing by StreeterSeidell.com and The Famous Hate List for more of that complaining you love oh so much.