What to Expect From Obamas DNC Speech - Image 1
(Boston Globe via ABC News)

- Good stuff about Barack Obama

- Bad stuff about Mitt Romney

- Some true stuff

- Some not as true stuff

- Stuff about health care

- Stuff about Michelle

- Just stuff

- Shots of old ladies smiling and clapping

- Shots of old ladies crying and wiping away tears

- Shots of old ladies burning effigies of Paul Ryan

- Personal anecdotes of struggle

- "Four more years" chants

- People screaming, shouting, throwing things

- People collapsing in the aisles and speaking in tongues

- B-Rock beaming those pearly whites

- Michelle, Sasha, and Malia looking on proudly

- Bill Clinton already at the afterparty

- Mass hypnosis for national optimism

- Obama addressing Clint Eastwood in an empty rascal scooter

- Jay-Z rappelling down from the ceiling and ending the convention in a rousing, profanity-ridden rendition of "99 Problems," joined by Joe Biden running onstage in a cop costume to rap the "Son, do you know what I'm stoppin' you for?" part and then breakdance, as Barack smiles and claps along and medics rush out elderly delegates