The most important thing I learned in college was how to sleep. I'm not even sure what my major was, but the sleeping skills I learned living in the dorms will stay with me forever. Decibel for decibel, typical college dorms can give Beirut a run for its money, what with your neighbor's stereo blasting "My Shit is Bananas" or whateverthecrap 24/5 (he goes home on weekends), or that fartface on the floor above you who's relentlessly trying to learn "Don'tcha" on the trumpet, or the guy with the IMAX quality surround-sound who can't stop watching "You Got Served" needless to say, it can be hard to get some sleep in the dorms.People like to act like they're crazy and don't need sleep; I am not one of these people. If I don't sleep at least, like, ten hours, I'm likely to bury a laptop in someone's head. I wish someone had shared the following infinite wisdom with me before MY freshman year so many heads/laptops could have been saved. This, my friends, is how to sleep in college.