8 Types of Karaoke Singers - Image 1

Alright, Travis, are you ready for this?... Me too! I can't think of any better way of expressing my love for you than holding this entire party hostage while we sing "Islands in the Stream" to each other. Because that isn't just "our" song, it's also the perfect volume and tempo to completely shut down all other conversation. We're going to stare into each others eyes the whole time, and I mean REALLY stare. Just eyeballs-deep gaze-fucking each other, right here, in front of everyone while we sing about sex. And that will be the only sight and sound for the next four minutes. Come, Travis, let's teach these cynics about love.


 

8 Types of Karaoke Singers - Image 1

I still don't know what I was waiting -- how does this go? What the fuck is this. I thought I knew how this song went?

It SEEEEEEMED thetastewasnot soooOOOooo sweeeet???

Was that right? Ha! I'm sorry guys Do they normally play this part on the radio? Come on guys. Help me. HELP ME! HOW DOES THIS GO?! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF? PLEASE! If you've ever loved me then help me! HELP! Wait. No, wait, I've got this.

CH-CH-CH-CH CHAAAANGES
TURN AND FACE THE STRAAAAAANGE
CH-CH-CHANGES!
DON'T WANT TO-- wow, that's a little high, isn't it.
CH-CH-CH-CH CHANGES!
TURN AND... that'?s really high. I don't think I can do this.

...

I don't know. For some reason I thought this whole song was just the part where he said "changes."

...

I just want to sit down. WHAT ARE YOU ALL STARING AT? Someone else go! STOP LOOKING AT ME! I'm skipping to the next song. GOD DAMN, HOW DOES THIS REMOTE WORK?


 

8 Types of Karaoke Singers - Image 6

Hey, you all know the words to "Flagpole Sitta," right? Perfect! So we can all just sing that, and none of you will ever have to hear me sing solo.


 

8 Types of Karaoke Singers - Image 1

LOUIE LOUIE! AAGGHBLAGH WE GOT GO! AYE YAYE AYE I... I... I... I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT... I'M GONNA HAVE MYSELF A REAL GOOD TIME... OF YOUR LIFE DWEE DOO DOO DOO DOO DEE DAH DOO DEE DO. Aright. Change it.

...

The fuck? How do you use this God damn remote?!