Oh man, this party is great. Seriously, I can't believe all these people showed. It's like we're back in college again. I can't believe it's almost been a year since we graduated. I know, right? Crazy. Oh hey, look, it's Tina. Have you talked to her yet? Engaged? Really? But she was so crazy in college; remember the pudding thing? Oh yeah, you remember the pudding thing. There must have been, like, thirty girls in there with that pig. That was great. She's the regional manager of an office supply company now? Wow, couldn't have picture Tina doing that, but whatever, there are plenty of hotties at this party. Oh man, look at Lauren. Damn, she looks great. Is she engaged too? No? Awesome. Wait, who is Christian? Ohhhh, you mean she's a Christian now? Like, a good one? Like, all 'holier-than-thou, Christ-crusading' Christian? Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't she the one who blew the entire third floor of Finlay when we were sophomores? And then she let that guy take all those pictures of her. Classic Lauren, man; classic. Oh great, here she comes with the pamphlets. C'mon, let's go to the kitchen.Whoa, Missy Hammel? How are you? Cool, cool. You
you look different. Oh, you're right, new haircut. How could I have missed it? It looks great. Great to see you too!Dude, Missy is a fucking WHALE! She must have gained 80 pounds since we left college. That's, like, 10 pounds a month. Gross. Who lives in this apartment anyway? John? You mean J-Dawg? Mister Fister? HE lives here? Oh man, that guy was fucking nuts. How did he managed to get such a great place? Lawsuit? Against who? His frat? You're telling me he sued his own frat for weight gain due to the pressures the organization put on him? But wasn't he fat to begin with? Well, if you ask me that's the wrong way to get rich. Well, yeah, I'm still jealous but still, you don't sue your own frat. Man, what a douche.