10 Cool Things to Do with an Emmy
- Pretend mic for your famed "Hollywood Karaoke" nights
- Smash your Golden Globes.
- Put it in Barbie's dream house where it will exist among Barbie as a living God.
- Superglue it to the sidewalk and see how many people try to pick it up.
- Use it as a door stopper.
- Wear it like a necklace before using to pay for an appointment with a chiropractor.
- Dial a phone to call old friends and talk about "what the deal is" with winning them.
- Tie a leash to it and drag it down the block.
- Make it have pretend doll-sex with your Oscar.
- Bring it to your high school reunion and finally show those assholes once and for all that you ARE strong enough to lift 88oz of copper, nickel, silver and gold alloy.
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