Everyone's got their own idea of the vixeniest vixens of all times. Here's mine:

Catherine Tramell, Basic Instinct 2

The eternal question – is doing it with a beautiful woman worth getting murdered over? Most would agree it is, but let's explore.

Would she murder you instantly after the doing it, praying mantis style? If so, how am I supposed to brag to my friends? And if I don't brag about it to my friends, did it even happen?

Will she tell me she is about to murder me before or during? Or does she just murder me afterwards with no warning? If I know I'm going to die, I would worry less about satisfying her.


Amount of her we get to see naked – After Sharon Stone's gynecologist saw Basic Instinct, he called her and told her she didn't need to come in for her next exam. Everything appeared normal

Jessica Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
The things I could do to her if only she had that third dimension!

I remember the first time I heard that there is a scene in Roger Rabbit where, if you freeze it at just the right moment, you can see Jessica's boo boo be do. I spent an entire day playing my VHS tape of that movie in slow motion, hoping to get a peek. That is going to be two weeks ago this Thursday, and I still haven't found it.

Amount of her we get to see naked – Results pending.


The T-X, Terminator 3

Here's a girl that can really go all night, mostly thanks to the plutonium core that fuels her. Some guys like boobs, some guys like butts. Me, I like a girl with an integrated weapons array. It's nice to know that if I need a city block leveled, my girl will be there to help me do it.

Of course it is going to be tough to make this relationship work, with the T-X's single purpose being to destroy humanity and all. It's not like flesh and blood women don't come with their own set of problems.

Amount of her we get to see naked – though the scientific community continues to debate about the plausibility of time travel, most agree that that time traveling robots can't wear clothes. Cloth simply could not survive the ravages of the temporal stream. In short, we get to see her butt and about two thirds of her boobs.

Vixen, The Santa Clause
Anybody responsible, on any level, for successful delivery of my presents on Christmas morning is okay by me.

Amount of her we get to see naked – The whole thing, baby!


Woman With 3 Boobs From Total Recall, Total Recall

Most vixens of the era were better than regular women in regular ways. They had bigger boobs, tighter tummies, less pubic hair, etc. Not Woman With Three Boobs From Total Recall. She's the girl your girlfriend could never be no matter how hard she works.

Woman With Three Boobs From Total Recall had a tremendous impact on my life. I first saw the film when I was nine-years-old, a full eight years too early according to the MPAA. They were right, I wasn't prepared. To this day it's hard for me to be satisfied with a mere two-breasted woman.

It's impossible to say if an Earthling like me could do it with a Martian like Woman With Three Boobs From Total Recall. I like to believe I could, and that afterwards we could liberate Mars.

Amount of her we get to see naked – All three breasts.


This update was brought to you by Basic Instinct 2, in theaters March 30th.