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Perhaps the most unrealistic thing about sitcoms is how the whole gang spends every night at the same table at the same bar. In real life, it takes a MINIMUM of 18 group text messages to get your friends in one place. And once you're there, at least two of them won't stop looking at their phones.

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"Hey, now that I'm single, can you give me your work friend Lisa's number?" Reasons you would never hear this sentence in real life: 1. You definitely don't know the names of your friends' work friends. 2. Even if you did know Lisa the Work Friend's name, you wouldn't call her. You'd send a Facebook message. 3. Work friends don't exist in this economy, because no one has a job.

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You know how your dog/cat/duck/monkey/Nibblonian is always around when you need a cute anthropomorphized animal reaction to a joke, but never when it needs to get walked, fed, or bathed clean of its own vomit? Me neither.

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Every hour, ten couples amicably break up but promise to stay good friends "just like Jerry and Elaine." All of those couples will hang out once and then remember that when you take away the benefits of sex and unyielding emotional support, the other person is really not that fun to have around constantly.

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All the shallow little intangibles of your daily routine are about 70% better on television. The apartments are bigger, the clothing is more stylish, and landlords are WAY more lovable. Plus, it's almost always jacket weather for some reason.

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Coffee shops, bars, parks, libraries, the subway, concerts, jury duty, wine stores, bookstores, gardening stores, stationery stores. These are just a few of the places where you could meet an awesome date in a TV show, but where in real life you will only meet your untimely demise at the hands of a psychopath you stupidly try to flirt with.

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Of course, you'll barely have time to hit on strangers in between maintaining your snappy banter with the friend who's inexplicably following you around to the dry cleaner's and the grocery store. Because your friends have nothing better to do than go on your errands with you. And they have to do something to fill the hours before going back to the same bar again.