Everybody always has dreams of finding the perfect summer fling, and you have to be very careful, because you never know what you could be getting yourself into. When a girl's been away at school for a year, she is nothing like you remember. Every girl you find has a different past, so she is sure to head towards a different future. This summer make sure you have a game plan.



Girl #1: The "I'm getting back into school" girl – When you're hanging around with your buddies during the summer, you always run into those girls that are "always getting into school this fall." There's only one problem, they never get back into school. They are a 22 year old, soon to be freshman, and still work as a Waitress at your town diner. Beware, she will get very attached and want a long-term relationship. It isn't going to just end when you go back to school; she wants your seed and will do anything to have a grasp on the fruit of your loins.

Girl #2: The "I'm back in town to see my boyfriend" girl – This one isn't as dangerous as the first, but you need to be careful. She has been cheating on her boyfriend all year, so you know she is down for anything, but it's harder when she's in the same zip code. I know what you're thinking – "Man, I can just bang her and go back to school for the fall, no one will be the wiser." WRONG. Sure, when she was at school she didn't tell her boyfriend about that 73 person train that was run on her, but now she sees him daily. Ultimately, her boyfriend – who is a townie- will ask her to marry him. She will deny this and move on. Wait until that moment to strike.


Only one things is certain with a
summer fling…unintended pregnancies.
Girl #3: The "I came back home with a drug problem" girl – Trust me on this one, avoid at all costs. I know that she use to be a very laid back girl, but she doesn't just drink on the weekends now. Her first week at school she was doing weed, ecstasy, and LSD. And by the second semester she was a full-blown heroin addict. Do not give her money and definitely don't have unprotected sex with her. The worst thing you could have imagined getting from this girl before was herpes, but now you'll have to worry about HIV and Hepatitis.

Girl #4: The "I no longer want to date you" girl – If you have a girlfriend, you have to treat it the same way rap wars are fought. Kill her before she kills you, or if you're normal, break up with her before she breaks up with you. Trust me, her last year at college was more like getting flushed down the bottom of the porn industry. Dump her immediately.

Girl #5: The "I want attention, so I got multiple piercings" girl – Yah I know. Susie Sunshine was a quiet preppy girl, and maybe you could have a nice night out with her. Wrong. She has completely changed her image, and now she looks like she belongs in Grease. You should handle this the same exact way you did in high school, continue to ignore her. Hopefully, she will start cutting herself for attention.