The following is public service announcement from Steve Hofstetter: Moms stop posting slutty pictures on MySpace. Seriously, you're killing your children.
That's right MySpace moms, you heard me. Or read me, because I don't have any obnoxious music on my page.
Now that MySpace is mainstream, it is no longer just slutty goth girls. Now there are also slutty goth women, many of whom have kids. I know this because they post pictures of those kids right next to their beaver shots.
"This is my sweetie-pie, Jonathan! And here's a picture of me bending over my couch in a mini skirt with my ass in the air."
But those kids are going to eventually find out. And when they do, they're going to climb a clock tower with an oozie. Between takes of their latest snuff film.
When a movie star's kid finds out that their mother was an alcoholic slut when they were younger (Tara Reid, anyone?), at least they have a lot of money to pay for therapy. It doesn't matter that your mom blew every guy in Cabo if she owns half of Cabo. But if you're mother is an administrative assistant she's got pictures online where her boobs are taped together like a broken waffle ball bat, you're going to have problems.
"Johnny, what did you learn on summer vacation?"
I am not saying that once you have children you need to stop having fun. Just don't make web pages with pictures of you goosing some slut at a bar. Take the pictures and show them to me, just don't make web pages.
And if you still think it's a good idea, think of your own mom online with just a garter and a smile. Would you want that on the internet? Well sorry, because she just put me in her top 8.