A lot of people don't know that in addition to being a writer for CollegeHumor I also give financial advice on the side. And being that most of the people reading this are poor college students who are hard pressed for cash, I thought I'd offer my expertise on penny pinching for the upcoming semester. Conventional wisdom might tell you not to squander your funds on "unnecessary" things like beer or videogames. Other financial gurus might even recommend that you get what they like to call a "job." But, guess what? I'm not like other financial advisors. I'm here to tell you, the average college student, that there are a lot of other ways to save if you're just willing to be a little creative.Tip 1: You'll have to change your group of friends every two weeks, and tell them you have a birthday coming up this weekend. You will get a boatload of free dinners and drinks from your new buddies. Then once they stop giving you free stuff, immediately abandon them. Change your phone number, move into a new dorm if you have to. You need new friends who have no idea who you are and when your birthday is. At first glance you may consider this a major blow to your social life, but just think of all the new people you never would have met if you weren't scamming unsuspecting students for money. Tip 2: Condoms are expensive. And don't get me wrong. I am by no means advocating that you practice unsafe sex. But did you know that Health Services actually carries an infinite supply of prophylactics? (Unless you're at a Christian College, sorry) Sure, they're non-lubricated and they only have a 49% success rate. But hey, that's almost a 50/50 chance you won't be a daddy. I like those odds.