The Thanksgiving Parade Goes Horribly Wrong - Image 1





- Good morning, and a Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Welcome to the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

- That's right, New York may still be reeling from the fallout of Hurricane Sandy, but you just can't keep down that New York spirit.

- And here comes the first balloon: why it's Shrek, the ogre from the movie Shrek!

- And who's this, coming up behind Shrek? Ohhhhh, your kids certainly know who this is — it's Shrek again, but this version of Shrek is from Shrek 2.

- Huh, two Shreks?

- Yes, most of the balloons were damaged during the hurricane. Parade organizers were forced to use whatever balloons were left.

- I'm sorry, I'm going to have to interrupt you it looks like the next balloon is coming down the way here. Is that Gumby's pal Pokey?

- No, that's Donkey, Shrek's pal in Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek the Third, and Shrek Forever After.

- Seems like someone stored the box with all the Shrek balloons, in a high, water-tight place.

- It's certainly starting to look that way, but what's this? Oh, this next one doesn't look like a character from Shrek.

- It does NOT look like that, and yet it is.

- Well, fuck me.

- It's Puss in Boots from Shrek 2.

- Looks like we've reached a break in the balloons, thank God. What do we have here, dancers?

- Yes, this is apparently the cast of Shrek: the musical, here to make me feel like I'm going insane.

- I know that feeling!

- Wait! Is that Snoopy?! Beloved pet to Charlie Brown?!

- No! It's Shrek!

- Right you are. Even though they look nothing alike, I was clinging to the mad hope that there would be something more than characters from Shrek movies here.

- Plus it's hard to see with all these Shreks in the way. Oh! This next balloon is a video game character, from Tony Hawk's Underground 2, it's the secret unlockable character: Shrek.

- Calling that a video game character seems a bit disingenuous.

- And how! I guess I could have just said it's Shrek from the movie Shrek followed by Shrek also from Shrek, and behind that Shrek, Shrek, and Shrek. Behind that is Superman, although they seem to have painted him to look like Shrek for no discernible reason.

- Has the word Shrek lost all meaning for you?

- It never had any!

- Life sure is bleak.

- No argument there, Katherine.

- Well, at least we can always look forward to the end of the parade when Santa will make his traditional appearance.

- Yes, although I'm being told that it will be a special Shrek the Halls-themed Santa from the TV special Shrek the Halls.

- Gosh, Todd, I tell you the scene here looks like that scene from V for Vendetta only with Shrek instead of Guy Fawkes masks.

- Truly a terrifying sight to behold.