By Jon Weissberg & Danny Hurwitz
Text Conversation Between Boy Meets World and America
BMW: Hey hey
A: Who is this?
BMW: Boy Meets World? We hung out every Friday night for seven years on ABC.
BMW: You don’t remember me?
A: Sry. Lost your number. Of course I remember you.
BMW: It’s been a while! How’ve you been?
A: Things have been a little rough since the late 90’s (recession, natural disasters, the Amy Poehler/Will Arnett divorce).
BMW: I hear you. I’m still shocked that Feeny never said “I love you.”
A: Not to be rude, but why are you texting me after twelve years of silence?
BMW: I want to see if you’d be interested in grabbing a drink?
A: I don’t think my therapist would approve. I cried so much after you broke up with me.
BMW: Broke up with you? I thought we mutually agreed to separate after college.
A: We had seven incredible years together and then you just left me with nothing but The OC.
BMW: I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
BMW: It’s not like things have been good for me either. Cory has been on one episode of Bones and Topanga became the spokesperson for Nutrisystem diet plan! We’re nothing without you.
BMW: Just give us one more shot. Cory and Topanga have a daughter now and I’d love for you to meet her.
A: I can’t.
BMW: Deep down you know how much our show could mean to an entirely new
BMW: I’m begging you. You’re already recycling shows like Hawaii 5-0 and Dallas.
A: The thing is, and don’t get mad...I sort of found a new show.
BMW: Who is it?
A: Promise you won’t get mad.
BMW: It better not be Glee.
A: The Biggest Loser
BMW: Stuart Minkus?
A: No! It’s a nice program. Going on 14 seasons now.
BMW: Seriously? Reality TV? You know it’s all fake, right?
A: This is really real. Together we are changing lives.
BMW: And Mr. Feeny wasn’t changing lives? Don’t you remember what he said? What happened to dreaming? To doing well. NO. To doing good.
A: Can you blame me for wanting something stable, something with a retirement plan, something that’s not going to get up and leave me after seven seasons?
BMW: You’re right. You deserve better.
A: I have to go. It’s almost Thursday at 8.
BMW: Wait. Can you just talk to the Disney Channel for me?
A: Fine, they’ve been desperate since Hannah Montana went off the air.