10 Things Chris Brown Can Do Now That Hes Off Twitter - Image 1
1. Learn how to treat women he'd like to shit on with respect.

2. Focus on his music, or anything that isn't being a terrible person.

3. Cover up his neck tattoo with one of those prisons.

4. Change his name to Kris Brown so we can take him even less seriously.

5. Change his name to Charlie Brown so we don't have to feel so sad around Christmastime.

6. Spend forever on the dance floor.

7. Help every member of #TeamBreezy make peace with their fathers.

8. Help every member of both #TeamBreezy and #TeemBreezy make peace with the English language.

9. Study one of those Chris Brown "parody" Twitter accounts to learn how to become slightly less annoying.

10. Go fuck himself.


Alex Watt is on Twitter, Tumblr and an ego trip.