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If Computer Warnings Existed in Real Life
By Hallie Cantor
(Photos with an “are you sure you want to send this email without an attachment”-style popup) (you and a coworker chatting at the coffee machine) Your conversation partner does not appear to be running the same version of Sense of Humor as you. Are you sure you want to jokingly grab his butt? (At lunch table at work) You are beginning a story without a discernable ending or point. Are you sure you want to continue? This person’s mother is deceased. Do you still want to make a joke about what she said in bed with you last night? (group of people with a newspaper/phones out) If you continue this conversation, you will need to attempt to pronounce that Egyptian dictator’s name. Do you want to continue? (you doing a crossword puzzle in public) People are not going to suddenly start thinking you’re cultured. Do you still want to keep doing that crossword puzzle? (you eating a donut) You gained like 3 pounds last week. Are you sure you want to eat a donut right now? (at a bar) No one here is going to sleep with you tonight. Would you like to go home instead of ordering that 5th beer? (you getting ready in front of a mirror) Someone at work told me they think you dress slutty. Are you sure you want to wear that? (you grabbing the warning sign angrily) What? I’m trying to help you! Are you sure you want to dismiss me? (you hold the sign in one hand and pull out a gun with the other) Easy now. I have a lot of friends who won’t be happy if something happens to me. Are you sure you want to do this? (you hold a gun up to the sign) Wait! I-- I have kids! Are you sure you want to leave them as orphans? (warning sign lies bleeding on the ground as you walk away) Are you sure?