By Hallie Cantor
If Twitter Existed During Famous Historical Speeches
(typos are intentional)
Poncho the Pilot / PontiusP26: This jesus bro needs to get off the mount and go back 2 bethlehem
mary magdaLame / GalileeGal: Am srsly reconsidering this whole Christianity thing if its gonna mean more bs sermons like this
Grrrls Rule / feMAnista13: Be perfect as ur heavenly father is perfect? UH HOW BOUT HEAVENLY SINGLE MOMS #sexist #asasinglemotheriresentthisentirespeech
Dr. Luke / LukeDaFunkeeEvangelist: Ohhhh pharisee BURN #teamjesus
Katy Sue Randall / Katyheartspuppies: Litterally this is so boring it literaly feels liek I am being cruscified
Ambrose Burnside / YankeeDoodleDaaaamndy: I came all the way to Gettysturd for THIS? #civilBORE
Bobby Lee / Confeder8Coolio: RT if u stopped listening to this shizz fourscore and 7 beers ago
Stonewall Jaxo / BanjoBro42: If all men are created equal, how come gaybraham lincolcn is so uggo?
Indentured ServiD00d / getdemgreenbackz: Wut does consecreat mean
Pointy Hood Rat / AoKKKay: This speech is ok but no way in hell am i givign up my slaves #USA #yolo
Okie from MuskOhYeah / ThrustBowlBabii: F d who?
Herbie Hoover / BrothaCanUSpareARhyme: More like franklin POOsevelt #firesidePRAT
Breadlines n deadlines / v: Lol who tha fuq is this FRD dude
Vaudeville Isnt Dead / JackBennyRulz: Who’s F Deyar?
Faye Stunna-way / KinkKong69: Woah teddy r sounds mad different
FDR’s Fireplace / FDRsFireplace: 200k followers in 20 minutes! Thanks yall!
Dwight D. Eisenhower / BootNAlly: Beaches are for French weenies. we shall fight on the BITCHES!!!!!
Grouchy Marxist / rufusTFirefly: Churchill is fat as heeeelll #ChubAintChill
Joey Stalin / WorldWario: Oh man I rly rly wanna go to the beach now
Albert Frederick Arthur George of Windsor / KingGeorgie6: “We shall fight?” Speak 4 urself, Winnie! Me I’ll be having a cuppa tea ;)
isolation = i so lazy / 2wars1cup: Oh cool so Nazis could invade at any second but you feel fine about it? Great THANKS FOR NOTHING CHUBBO
Mrs. Dick Clark / AmercnBandstndLuvr: Omgggg martin SHUT UP no one cares about ur gay dream #TLDNL
Rosa Parks / GotMLK: So tired from marching today!!!! Need to sit down ;) <3
Gunsmoke Weed Erry Day / deputydawg: has ne1 else noticed the washingten monumint looks a lot like a dick
MuBomb-ed Ali / FloatLikeABttrflyStingLikeaME: huh that’s funny I have a dream too, that fartin’ luther king jr. would stop talking already #wierd
George Wallace / ElvisSux: I cant believe im missing Mister Ed for this #ihateblackppl
FDR’s Fireplace / FDRsfireplace: WTF! who just unfollowed us???