Eve Gets an Apple Product - Image 2

Adam: Hey… What's that you've got there? Is that that forbidden fruit everyone's been talking about?

Eve: Yeah, it's an Apple. It's the latest and best thing in the garden.

Adam: Wow, you're a real fan girl aren't you?

Eve: I am NOT a fan girl. I'm just saying it's a very well-made fruit. I mean look how cool this design is. You can just bite right into it. Try to do that with an orange — you'll get a big mouthful of peel. Not on the apple though. It just works.

Adam: Uh huh. It looks like a nice piece of fruit.

Eve: YEAH! It is nice! It's the best! Taste it! It's so sweet; it's got fructose in it.

Adam: Like an orange?

Eve: NOTHING like an orange.

Adam: Oranges have had fructose for years.

Eve: Yes, and now the apple has it. And it's better. Comparing apples and oranges is like… I don't know… comparing… two dissimilar things.

Adam: Alright, I'm willing to give it a shot. Peel me off a section.

Eve: Oh, Apple doesn't do that.

Adam: What?

Eve: But nobody really NEEDS to peel it into sections. You can just bite into it instead.

Adam: Yeah, I guess. Kinda seems like an important feature.

Eve: I'm sure it'll come in the next generation. And I haven't even told you about the customer service yet! Best customer service! The whole time I was trying to pick it out, they had a serpent there to answer all my questions and subtly convince me to take it and eat of it.

Adam: It DOES look nice. How much did this thing cost?

Eve: Oh, not that much, just the horrible pain of childbirth for me and all my descendant, and my place in a garden of unending delight.

Adam: WHAT?! That's insane!

Eve: No no no, I know that sounds a little steep, but you totally get what you pay for. Can an orange grant me the divine knowledge of good and evil previously held only by God himself?

Adam: Yep, total fan girl.