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From the author of “How to Get All the Bitches” "How to Snag all the Snow Bunnies on the Ski Slopes" A Player’s Guide by Professor Romeo von Sexhaver 1. Gettin’ Your Gear Shifted (Green Circle) -Realize it’s time to carve some powder. -Image: Guy looking into closet. -Put yourself in some thermal threads. -Image: Guy putting on thermals. -Get covered in a swagvalanche of dope duds. -Image: Guy putting on ridiculous snow suit. -Goggle your oglers. -Image: Guy putting on ridiculous snow goggles. -Helmet your thought pit. -Image: Guy putting on ridiculous helmet. -Take it all off so you can go rid some ‘quid. -Image: Guy peeing. All his clothes are scattered around the bathroom. 2. Go 2 da Snow (Blue Square) -Get made with some sharp blades image: guy trying to put on a pair of skis and almost losing his balance. - Strut Your Stuff image: guy awkwardly walking to the ski-lift while children laugh at him. He makes a path of diagonal ski tracks as he walks. - Trap a bunny in the hot seat Image: guy trying to sit down next to a girl on the ski lift, but getting a ski stuck. - Show her that you like to get lifted Image: guy falling off the ski lift. 3. Aww Ski-Ski or Snowboard (Black Diamond) -Toke up on that mean green. -Image: Guy smoking weed at the top of a slope labeled “Baby Bunny Slope” -Say ‘halo’ to your snow angel friend. -Image: A ski patrol lady yelling at the guy. He looks startled. -Beg for a SnowJob -Image: Guy hiding joint and nervously making excuses to ski patrol girl. - Start 2 Flee so she’ll crave da ‘D. -Image: Close-up of guy’s face as he zooms away. - Ride ‘dat Good Feeling -Image: Reveal guy is on back of a snowmobile. He is handcuffed and looks pumped to be riding with the Snow Patrol Girl 4. Warmin’ on Up (Double Black Diamond) -Get a fire rip roarin’. -Image: Guy making fire even bigger with lighter fluid (everyone seated near it looks angry). -Call chumps out if they’re borin’. -Image: Guy butting into conversation between cool, buff skier and a babe. -Come closer to scorin’. -Image: buff dude is just slapping his arm away as he tries to wrap it around the girl here. 5. Lodgin’ the Lodge with Ladies (Triple Black Diamond) -Brag about your time in the powder. -Image: Guy talking to babes about how good he boarded that day (maybe we can draw it in a speech bubble). -Brag about holdin’ some powder. -Image: Guy talking to babes about having cocaine, people crowd around. -Offer chill babes a taste of your chowder. -Image: Guy getting dragged out of the lodge and beaten up by the snow patrol lady again. 6. Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow. (Red Broken Heart) -It’s all uphill from here. -Image: Guy crying in bed, blowing his nose. Nex to him is a picture of the snow patrol lady.