Here are a few options for anyone looking to branch out beyond beer and find exciting new ways to numb the pain of your team's performance!

FANCY COCKTAILS FOR THE BIG GAME - Image 1
  • 1 PART LIGHT RUM
  • 1-2 DECADES OF DISSAPOINTMENT AT THE HANDS OF YOUR TEAM
  • 2 PARTS COLA
  • 1 PART FRUSTRATED FORMER POP WARNER COACH
  • 1 SPLASH OF LIME JUICE

Pour rum over ice in a highball glass, adding a splash of lime to taste. As you fill remainder of glass with cola, scream at the idiots on the team who are already blowing their one chance to do some great. Stir together ingredients as you let anyone who can actually hear you know exactly what the pitiful excuse for a coach is doing wrong.

FANCY COCKTAILS FOR THE BIG GAME - Image 1
  • 7 PARTS TEQUILA
  • 6 YARDS LOST ON A SINGLE PLAY
  • 4 PARTS COINTREAU
  • 3 PARTS LIME JUICE
  • 1 FLAG NOW TOO?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
  • SALT

Fill glass with ice; add tequila, lime juice, and Cointreau. Watch speechlessly as the world's worst conceived and executed lateral pass leads to a loss of 6 at a time when your team CANNOT afford it. Stir ingredients and down entire glass in in one long, shuddering drink.

Salt may be used to rim glass, or rub directly into open wound as you see the ref's flag and realize that thanks to an offensive holding call they've managed to lose not 6, but 10 yards.

FANCY COCKTAILS FOR THE BIG GAME - Image 1
  • 9 PARTS WHITE RUM
  • 1 BAD SNAP FROM THE CENTER, LEAVING THE QB FUMBLING FOR CONTROL
  • 4 PARTS LIME JUICE
  • 3 PARTS SIMPLE SYRUP
  • 1 QB STANDING LIKE A DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS
  • 4 PLAYERS FROM THE OTHER TEAM'S DEFENSE BEARING DOWN ON HIM MERCILESSLY
  • FROZEN STRAWBERRIES

Pour rum, lime juice, and syrup into blender. Drop in frozen berries, a few at a time, while blending until smooth. Transfer your rage at your useless excuse for a QB into the spinning, all destroying blades of the blender. Pour into chilled glasses and serve.

FANCY COCKTAILS FOR THE BIG GAME - Image 1
  • 3 PARTS VODKA
  • 1 FINAL CHANCE AT REDEMPTION
  • 6 PARTS TOMATO JUICE
  • 1 PART LEMON JUICE
  • 2 MINUTE WARNING COME AND GONE- IT'S NOW OR NEVER
  • CELERY FOR GARNISH

Without taking your eyes form the screen, dump ingredients into pint glass- stirring feverishly as you watch the ball, your entire season, and the 400 bucks you bet Gary hang on a single, wild bomb towards the end zone.

FANCY COCKTAILS FOR THE BIG GAME - Image 1
  • 1 PART BOURBON, SCOTCH, OR RYE
  • 0 HOPE
  • 1 SUGAR CUBE
  • 2 DASHES ANGOSTURA BITTERS
  • 1 GOOD, STRONG WALL
  • 1 SPLASH WATER
  • INFINITE DESPAIR

Ignore other ingredients and pound first the liquor, then your head into the wall- simulating the impact of a good old fashioned pre-helmet game and slowly obliterate the horrible realization that all is lost, your dreams are shattered, and your team has failed you.