Passive Aggressive Horoscopes - Image 1

CAPRICORN

The forgetful Aquarius Moon is circling overhead this month, so maybe that's the reason why you haven't called the cute girl with the cat you went on a date with back, right?

AQUARIUS

This month's new moon is aligned with flaky Venus! It probably missed its best moon friend's birthday party, too, so totally no worries.

PISCES

Generous Jupiter is circling your stars! Consider treating your employees to free lunch. The one who's always short on cash loves burritos.

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ARIES

Frugal Venus may be stressing you out in the financial department. Hopefully someone can provide the hummus and chips for that potluck on Saturday. Don't feel obligated to bring the hummus and chips at all! Would suck if no one did, though, right?

TAURUS

Heartbreak may be in your stars as the sorrowful Aquarius Moon hangs over you, and you may find that some of your friends have gone MIA. It's definitely not because your problems have become a burden to their happy lives. People just get busy!

GEMINI

You are the life of the party this month as flirty Pluto comes to play. Your roommate definitely didn't mean to spill coffee in your car, just like they're certain you didn't mean to make out with their crush.

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CANCER

Spontaneous Mercury has you switching things up out of the blue! Did this cause you to change your email? You haven't been opening your daily horoscope lately, so just wondering.

LEO

Your sign is entering your 2nd House of Big Ideas and people want to hear your latest pitch for "Mayor Cat," they really do…maybe Facebook chat is acting up or something.

VIRGO

Saturn is entering your 15th House of Self-Acceptance. You can definitely still come to the next Virgo camomile club meeting even though you're birthday is on the 22nd which is WAY closer to Libra or whatever… they'd love to have you!

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LIBRA

Your stars align with Prosperous Pluto this month and the future is full of possibilities! Maybe start with a trip to the engagement ring store! The address is already up on your Google Maps.

SCORPIO

The unkempt Aquarius Moon is rocking your House of Self-Expression while you crash on your friend's couch. They don't mind cleaning up after you, though, they enjoy your company! How's apartment hunting going, by the way?

SAGGITARIUS

Wealthy Mercury has you feeling extra charitable this month! Your daughter may need money. Never hurts to offer straight up.

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