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By Caldwell Tanner
How to Live Life on Expert Mode
Normal = Dude waking up with alarm clock
Expert = Dude waking up, alarm clock is attached to a dog that is running out of the room.
Normal = Dude wearing a nice sweater and pants
Normal = Dude wearing only sweater with a completely nude bottom
Normal = A dude putting milk in his coffee
Expert = Dude Drinking it straight from the pot, red in the face and sweaty from the heat.
Normal = Dude listening to music with headphones
Expert = Dude blasting music via boombox, ignoring his co-workers complaints.
Bathroom Break #1
Normal = Dude peeing in a urinal
Expert = Dude peeing in a urinal ten feet away
Normal = Dude politely eating a salad at a lunch table.
Expert = Dude eating the world’s sloppiest burrito DIRECTLY OVER HIS KEYBOARD.
Normal = Guy talking to girl at watercooler
Expert = Guy talking to girl at watercooler but wearing only the sweater again.
Bathroom Break 2
Normal = Bathroom stall door closed
Expert = Dude pooping with the door open wearing sunglasses and flipping the bird.
Normal = Guy fast asleep, looking peaceful.
Expert = Guy chugging another giant pot of coffee while in bed.