There's nothing like a little (or sometimes not so little) wager to spice up the experience of watching the big game. Even if your team never even made it to the playoffs, a pool can give you something to root for
usually a very, very specific something ("Come on field goal and a safety in the next 2 minutes!"). But the sad truth about putting your money down is you're likely to watch someone else pick it back up. Here are the 10 people more likely to win your pool on game day, and the reasons you'll have to feel bitter towards each of them.
The Perennial Favorite
There's a reason people root for underdogs. It doesn't matter if it's because of their training, talent, or in this case luck, no one's going to stand up and cheer when the same people win over and over. Although it defies logic, statistics, and every rational argument you can come up with- some people are just better at winning games of pure luck, and this is just such a person. You can take satisfaction from knowing that everyone else is annoyed with them too
but just remember that they're the one taking home the money.
The Underage Gambler
Who brought a kid to the party?! Sure, kids love football, but should they really be gambling? Isn't that a dangerously habit forming for such an impressionable mind? Aren't you teaching them to expect this type of reward and leading them down a rabbit hole of vice? And are these objections legit, or do they just stem from how frustrating it is to watch some little twerp count a stack of cash you just know is getting spent on candy, video games or some weird competitive trading card game? Either way
screw you kid.
The Lucky Guesser
This pool winner is usually someone's friend or coworker, who has little to no idea about how football works
or even what they're gambling on. They picked a box at random, and their reward was all your money
To which they say "Oh boy! What a lucky guess!" What's so infuriating about this response is they're all lucky guesses. You're not making an extensively researched, carefully considered wager based on player stats and the spread you're picking a box at random and, in the end, their random guess was just a little more random than yours.
The Mystery Guest
The Guy You Bought a Box as a Favor
Well, well, well. Looks like this fellow couldn't make it to the party to be with his friends, but was totally able to make a sweet pile of cash off a bet you fronted the money for. The worst part is knowing how hard it would have been to get the money from him if he had lost, and how magnanimously he'll pay you back out of the huge wad you hand over to him. Sure, you could try to hide his winnings- but he'd find out. Then you'll have to pay and seem like a cheap jerk. It lose-lose
on top of the fact that you literally just lost. Lose-lose-lose.
The Couple Who Wrote Both Names
On one level this makes sense. By buying twice as many boxes as either would separately this pair is doubling their chances of winning and making sure that they have someone at their side, rooting for the same outcome. But speaking on behalf of the singles- both in pool boxes and life- come on. It's not enough that you've taken our money, but you have to rub you're personal happiness and fulfillment together in our faces too? They already have great rent through the same system of sharing resources which your money is now going to pay for.
It's hard to hate watching your host win back some of the money they sunk into feeding and providing you with beer for the last several hours
But something still feels a little fishy when the guy running the pool wins it. Is there any way they could have predicted or rigged multiple totally random variables? Almost certainly not. BUT it still stings watching the money go straight from the hand that counted it to the pocket.
The One-Box Winner
When you're slapping down money for a box in a pool-you'll often be tempted to double down. "Maybe," you think, "Juuuuust maybe, that second box will be the lucky one!" It won't. That's not a prediction it's a fact. If that second box wins it isn't luck it's statistics. And when you end up losing to the guy who just bought one lucky box out of a hundred you'll be doubly mad at your self for jinxing your fortune with stupid, rational math.
This is the lucky jerk who ended up with the 0 0 box, and suddenly wants no one to score ever in the game. In their new perfect world scenario the game would go three quarters without a single touchdown, field goal or safety
Just a lot of failed drives and punts as they rack up the cash. What kind of fan hopes for such a terrible showing just so they can profit? Mr. Zero-Zero, that's who. In the end just be happy you didn't draw that cursed number, or you too might be forced into poor fandom (though we bet the money would help you get over it.)
The Next Door Neighbor
This is probably the most frustrating loss of all. This is that guys with the box right next to yours. When they were all blank and you were writing your name in you could have picked that box. Hell
you almost did. You hovered the marker over it
then in the end decided to move over just a spot because it felt luckier. Then you sit back and watch as their winnings pile up from your barren little bow right next door. This should serve as a lesson never to trust you gut. The next time it tries to give you advice- punish it with the hottest wings at the party.