The Oscar NEEDS to go to Daniel Day Lewis - Image 3
OK, SO, I just saw the best actor Oscar nominees and I just had to get this off my chest: (and no, its NOT A TUMOR. lol Kindergarten Cop.)

How is anybody going to beat Daniel Day Lewis as Lincoln? Seriously. How!? He played a REAL PERSON.

Who was Bradley Cooper supposed to be? Some fictional dude named Mike or whatever?

How can you tell how good of an actor somebody is, if the person he's playing isn't ACTUAL? Like, I know Daniel Day Lewis looked like Abraham Lincoln so I know he acted good…

Bradley Cooper looked like… himself i guess? And acted like… a fictional guy?

Know what I mean?

Okay, like, I can also act like anybody that's made up and say that I'm a good actor. "Yeah! This person is supposed to look and talk exactly like me! TRUST ME! Give me an award!" Um… no. The award goes to the person who can act and look and talk like a REAL person. WHO EXISTS. SO WE CAN COMPARE HOW YOUR VERSION IS TO THE REALITY. Not somebody that somebody made up. This is the academy awards not "the honor system."

Do you get what I mean, though? Like… Okay. Here. New example:

Funny songs are harder than real songs to write because they have to be funny AND good. and real songs JUST have to be good. Right? Like, so, for example, SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW by Gotye is not funny, but its a good song. But LIKE A BOSS or IM ON A BOAT by Lonely Island is 1) funny but 2) Also good. So it's a better song. Or harder to write, and thus is a better song. Correct? Hello?

Wow, the silence here feels like everybody is judging me. But do you get what I'm saying? Or are you just confused because I'm right.

Okay one more example, but then I have to fucking go (sorry for cussing but I'm kinda getting pissed off by the ZERO feedback.)

If you go into a bodega to buy bananas and the credit card minimum is $20 and you have no cash, are you pissed? Or are you a little bit excited because now you have to buy random stuff to get up to $20. Not RANDOM stuff like q-tips and egg nog, but random fun shit that you always wanted to buy but never had the balls to pull the trigger.

Wow, okay, nevermind, you guys don't get it, I guess I'm dumb!

Blumenfeld Out.

PS – Do me a favor and read this again in a week/month/year and if you're mind still hasn't changed then you owe me an apology. Peace.