• Drink every time you hit the snooze button.
  • Is your breakfast too warm/cold? Drink.
  • Take two drinks for every piece of your neighbor's mail you get.
  • If your SO says they're worried about your drinking, finish your drink.

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  • Toss one back every time a copier/printer jams.
  • Take a shot for every work email you get reminding you about deadlines.
  • Chug-a-lug every time you miss a deadline.
  • Drink if you hear the magic word ("Fired").
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  • Drink if they don't serve alcohol at the Sherwood Diner.
  • Drink if you can't be drinking from outside drinks either.
  • Drink or take off three articles of clothing. Shout in the manager's face. Leave.
  • If you want to cry in the parking lot because you don't recognize yourself anymore, cry. Then drink.
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  • Drink if you want to go fast.
  • Go fast. Drink.
  • Drink if you get the text "YOU WERE FIRED??"
  • Drink for every weird bump in the road.
  • If you hear sirens, double down and drink as much potential evidence as you can. Floor it.
  • Drink for every out-of-state plate you see!
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  • Remove your emergency flask. Drink for every injury you sustained in the accident. Run.
  • If you can still hear sirens from the highway behind you, drink.
  • Drink if you happen upon a shady nook. Nap in it.
  • If it's dark outside when you wake up, finish your drink. Remember to get home and drink some more.
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  • If you come home and there's no dinner, and the drink cabinet is empty, ask your SO "Where's dinner? Where's my drinks??"
  • Drink every time your SO insists you go to the hospital.
  • Drink if your SO asks where you got that bottle of furniture polish.
  • Take a swig of furniture polish for every tear your SO sheds.
  • Drink if the doorbell rings.
  • If it's the cops, finish the furniture polish. Lie down for a bit.
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  • Sleep now. If there be nought but darkness on the other side, drink.