Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Drinking Games For Your Everyday Life
March 11, 2013
Drink every time you hit the snooze button.
Is your breakfast too warm/cold? Drink.
Take two drinks for every piece of your neighbor's mail you get.
If your SO says they're worried about your drinking, finish your drink.
Toss one back every time a copier/printer jams.
Take a shot for every work email you get reminding you about deadlines.
Chug-a-lug every time you miss a deadline.
Drink if you hear the magic word ("Fired").
Drink if they don't serve alcohol at the Sherwood Diner.
Drink if you can't be drinking from outside drinks either.
Drink or take off three articles of clothing. Shout in the manager's face. Leave.
If you want to cry in the parking lot because you don't recognize yourself anymore, cry. Then drink.
Drink if you want to go fast.
Go fast. Drink.
Drink if you get the text "
Drink for every weird bump in the road.
If you hear sirens, double down and drink as much potential evidence as you can. Floor it.
Drink for every out-of-state plate you see!
Remove your emergency flask. Drink for every injury you sustained in the accident. Run.
If you can still hear sirens from the highway behind you, drink.
Drink if you happen upon a shady nook. Nap in it.
If it's dark outside when you wake up, finish your drink. Remember to get home and drink some more.
If you come home and there's no dinner, and the drink cabinet is empty, ask your SO "Where's dinner? Where's my drinks??"
Drink every time your SO insists you go to the hospital.
Drink if your SO asks where you got that bottle of furniture polish.
Take a swig of furniture polish for every tear your SO sheds.
Drink if the doorbell rings.
If it's the cops, finish the furniture polish. Lie down for a bit.
Sleep now. If there be nought but darkness on the other side, drink.
St Patricks Day
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.