By Jennifer Chuck
59% Off Couples Wine and Cheese Tasting
Why don’t you bring a nice boy to this classy wine and cheese tasting? A good man should know the difference between Shiraz and Merlot, not PBR and Keystone. Be yourself and go easy on the cheese.
Up to 55% off Cooking Classes
Just because it’s from Trader Joes doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Why don’t you ease up on the microwave meals and learn to cook something nice for yourself. It’ll come in handy when you finally settle down.
Up to 70% off Haircut and Makeover
You have such a pretty face, but you’re hiding behind that awful haircut. Get some layers and learn how to do your own makeup. A little lipstick and some eye shadow every once and a while will do wonders for your pale complexion.
Up to 64% Off Introductory Spin Class
You’re genetically prone to thick thighs and bikini season is right around the corner. I know you say that you “walk a lot,” but last time I saw you, you were looking a little heavy. Apparently the instructors play some of that rockin’ hip-hop you like.
60% Off Verizon Cell Phone Plan
How bout you give your Mom a call every once and a while? She worries about you.
Up to 80% Off Juice Detox
You kids with your drinking and partying and dope. Your body is your temple and you need to treat it as such. I used to think juicing was too new-agey, but this stuff is just lovely. The first few days might give you a few tummy troubles, but afterwards you’ll feel AH-MAZING.
61% Off Housecleaning from Brownstone Maids
God knows you won’t clean your apartment yourself. Maybe having a clean home will be the impetus you need to get your life in order. Remember to lock up your valuables when they’re over though.
Up to 63% Executive Dreams Life Coaching
Bartending is not a career. You’re so smart and have always had so much potential, you just need some help harnessing that. You’ll get a good job and then maybe you’ll be able to afford your own bus ticket home next year.