Hello, Fung Wah drivers! I have good news! Repair service is complete by inspectors, so I am happy to welcoming you back to your noble transportation service careers!
There are a few changes inspectors made us agree to before letting back on the roads, so please to be keeping these things in mind as you restart your Boston to New York discount adventures:
First, if bus catches on fire, you should not keep to driving bus. Please pull over at either the first sight of flames or the first smell of burning flesh, whichever comes later. If a passenger approaches you to complain or scream about bus being on fire, stop driving. Do not respond with a knowing comment about the increasing popularity of Fung Wah or Communist Party General Secretary Xi Jinping, regardless of how truth both statements are.
Second, buses with brake systems that no longer working should not be advertised as belonging to the Fung Wah Express Service Fleet. They should be taken out of service and put aside for necessary repair. However, if the brakes seem like they are not working, but you think you can make the trip anyway, go with your gut, especially if many passengers have already pay.
Third, if bus breaks down midway between Boston and New York, call Fung Wah headquarters, and promise to refund passenger money. Do not attempt to corral passengers into pushing bus for the last 125 miles, as many will be lazy Americans who do not understand the value of coming together and toiling to serve a benevolent purpose greater than themselves.
Fourth, when you hit pedestrian, do not continue to going. Stop bus and see if pedestrian is still alive. If he is, offer him special $10 Fung Wah Casualty Ticket in exchange for no lawsuit. If he is not, find family and offer tickets to them. If family continues to cry after ticket offer, suggest helping to cover funeral expenses instead, but press that tickets are a better long-term investment, as family member is already die.
(Inspectors originally want us to not hit pedestrians at all, but we told them this is ridiculousness. It is as if they think we are all infallible Communist Party General Secretary Xi Jinping! Ha.)
Fifth, if bus ticket say bus is going to New York or Boston, bus must go to New York or Boston. This remains true even if someone text you about a great Dragon Boat Festival in Philadelphia's Chinatown. Passengers probably do not like Dragon Boat Festival as much as you. This holds true for Lantern and Longtaitou Festivals as well. Drivers are encouraged to use their best judgment when dealing with invitations to Qingming Festivals.
Sixth, Tiananmen Square was not a very big deal.
Seventh, all drivers must now have magical card called a "license" before operating bus. Inspectors appear to believe that drivers will not be able to use bus without one for unclear reasons. Repeated offers to demonstrate how this is not truth were enthusiastically turned down.
Finally, when you stop at hamburger stand McDonald on the way, do your best not to glare contemptuously as a sea of large, pasty Americans struggles to climb the three steps back onto bus so they can recline and contentedly munch on processed dead cow meat while you continue to make an honest and humble day's work. Remind yourself that the final battle will come soon enough, and carry on.
Apart from that, things will be pretty much the same at Fung Wah. This is especially truth when it comes to no seatbelts. Seatbelts are for wimps. Even inspectors agree with that.