10. Inception Machine
Inception introduced all kinds of crazy concepts though its shared dream briefcase that's never really explained. It's a dangerous process, though: people can get injured, die, and even get trapped in a terrible fantasy realm that renders you an insane octogenarian by the time you're rescued. But I'm not looking to topple a multinational corporation, I just want to make sure someone else is down with where I want to go for lunch today, or maybe just take a Ski Break one Sunday night with a couple of famous dogs. I could handle that just fine.
9. Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory
The overall Death Trap-y-ness of Willy Wonka's place of work is well-documented at this point, but credit where credit's due: it's a really cool place. It doesn't make any kind of sense to build an entire meadow out of candy when you've got a net profit to worry about, but goddamn if that didn't stop Wonka and his nightmare mutant army from building it all the same. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the FDA doesn't exist within this movie's universe.
8. Teleporter (Star Trek)
Until someone invents a machine that stops people from saying "Beam me up, Scotty!" in a terrible accent, we'll have to make do with teleportation machines as the best idea Star Trek gave us.
Lightsabers aren't particularly interesting or useful, they're pretty much big swords that make annoying noises and look pretty, but since when was that anything other than the coolest thing you've ever heard of? Consumer demand be damned, you could manufacture tiny ones to use as knives or something. I'm not here to do your job for you, scientists, just make it happen.
6. The Matrix
I'm not saying a giant hive of computers hellbent on human enslavement is a good thing, I'm just saying they went about it really, really well. Barely anything is noticeably different between our world and the Matrix world, save for the fact that living in the Matrix means you're really in some freaky gooey egg thing with a bunch of wires coming out of every single part of you. That kind of sucks, but once you get the hang of things you can be really good at fighting and learn to fly. Wheee!
5. Time Machine DeLorean
The DeLorean itself is a good, solid car. If this list were "10 cool things that really exist", it might have a shot at that, too. The combination of cool car+time machine should rightfully be placed at the top of any list ever, even ones about cute animals and stuff. Points are deducted, though, for the fact it only works once you're going at 88 MPH. What even is that, Doc? In all your calculations and building and INVENTING TIME TRAVEL, you couldn't just make a big red button with "Press Here to Manipulate Existence" written on it? Bad job, but also mostly good job.
It's not every day you get to choose between being wheelchair-bound for the rest of your life and becoming a sexy cat alien sometimes. There's a whole bunch of stuff in the movie that's pretty cool: big army robots, cooler helicopters (which were already cool), psychic dragon driving, but you only get to write "sexy cat alien" every so often, so let's make the most of that.
3. Batman's Shit
Listing every awesome thing Batman owns would take forever, and we all know his deal anyway. Everything Bruce Wayne's got going on is something to envy, including his sharp suits and sense of confidence. You can't invent that stuff, though. Even with all his swag, the most any of us can aspire to be is a really smart guy living in a cave. Like Gollum.
2. Magic Stuff (Harry Potter)
Even in a world where magic inherently exists, some wizard had to invent all the stuff in Harry Potter. Moving paintings, wands, invisibility cloaks. It's amazing to see the kind of consumer products we'd get to use if stupid stuff like science didn't always get in our way. Shout out in particular to books that scream at you when you open them, we could take down Tucker Max in an afternoon. We can only dream of such a world.
1. Dinosaurs (Jurassic Park)
Um, obviously. Human intellect and creativity can advance as much as it wants from here, but at no point will our ultimate goal be anything other than dinosaurs being brought back into the world. The best part? Genetic engineering, dummy. We can make them just the way we like. A tiny T-Rex you can keep in a hamster ball? You got it. A Pterodactyl you can ride to work? Science has your back, buddy. We can even get rid of those dumb feathers everyone says they had. There's no downside. Unless of course they escape and kill everyone, but that'd still be a little cool, admit it.
Disagree with these opinions? Ok! Vote on what you think is the best movie invention here: