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So Google Reader is leaving you in July. Sure, you had a good 8 years together, but usage declined over time, updates became more of a chore than a pleasure and when Reader sat down and rationally thought about all the unread items piling up in your Fitness and Finance folders, it became clear that if you weren't going to at least make an effort, there was no future for the two of you.

But life goes on. Think of this as a step forward, another door opening. There are endless possibilities for you without Reader holding you back. Here are 5 ways to fill that gaping hole left in your heart.

Alcohol

5 Ways to Get Over Your Google Reader Break Up - Image 1
Drinking profusely is often the answer to life's problems. In this case, it'll get rid of your browsing inhibitions, lower your standards for content and even make you find StumbleUpon to be an amusing diversion.

Also, if you drink enough to seriously impair your vision, you'll find that that the blurry layout of Google Reader's less attractive sibling, Gmail can look pretty damn similar. Just sayin' dude. Think about it.

One Night Trials

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Remind yourself there are plenty of other empty RSS readers out there all seeking the same things as users like you: content.

You were with one RSS reader for a long time though, so don't go immediately importing your XML file into the very next one that comes along. Have some meaningless trial and evaluation periods, subscribe to a couple new feeds, figure out what's attractive to you. Do you like the visual stimulation from the massive pictures of Flipboard's magazine format? Or do you enjoy the quick response time of Newsblur? Do you just want a few minutes of hot, random, anonymous content? Or do you want an intimate connection with an RSS reader that gets to know your tastes and proclivities? Always remember: you have plenty of options.

Abstinence

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Maybe you're not quite ready to get out there and start using RSS feeds again. I know, the internet is overwhelming and scary. You could start small by just being social with Twitter, Facebook and Reddit. Or perform specific web searches, type in some full URLs, visit actual websites, hell, even click on ads once in a while.

And maybe you'll realize you didn't even really love Google Reader either by the end of it. It might be that you were just going through the motions, you liked it what it symbolized about you, or you liked things being simple and comfortable.

Now is the perfect time for reflection. Re-evaluate your interests and goals. Take the time to learn about you.

Revenge

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You could also just happen to find yourself driving past Google's headquarters at 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway in Mountain View, California when you notice a strange car parked outside that sets your imagination off. You go to take a closer look, ostensibly concerned about Google Reader's safety, but really thinking, "If I can't use Reader, no one will."

Before you know it, an accidentally tossed cigarette ignites a bush, which in turn, sets the enter Google headquarters ablaze. It's a tragic and glorious sight, a symbol of your passion that burned too brightly and burned out all too quickly.

Also, be sure to plan for your car to run out of gas just outside the headquarters, so you'll have an explanation for the gas can the police find you holding.

Suicide

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Or maybe there's no point in denying it. Nothing will ever make you feel the same way Google Reader made you feel. You're eventually going to die alone without ever experiencing the true happiness of another fulfilling RSS reader relationship. Might as well just get it over with now, right?