Welcome to Work Sucks, the column where you get to complain about your most terrible, lousy, soul-sucking jobs. In this issue, we've brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. If your job sucks even worse than this, submit your story at the bottom of this page.

Foot Porn and Abraham Lincolns Netflix Queue - Image 1

I've worked at my local grocery store for 2 years now. I'm 18 now. On an off night, I get a call from my 60 year old boss asking me to come to the store to help him with the computer. When I get there, it turns out he needs me to delete his history and exit out of pages and pages of porn. I'm not kidding, it was over 80 pages. I get the history thing, but he can't exit a page? The weirdest thing was half the windows were just pictures of feet. I need a raise.- Caroline B.

I used to work at a fast food restaurant. After each order, I was to ask the customer, "Would you like any honey, butter, jelly, or hot sauce?" It seems that habit had followed me to my new job at a local bank. One day, after a particularly heavyset woman finished making her transaction, I just so happened to ask what condiments this poor lady wanted with her deposit. I honestly never felt so terrible in my life.- Anonymous

So I work at a well known video game store (rhymes w/ FameStop) and since I'm a girl I get A LOT of weird crap from customers. Usually its d-bags asking if they can have my Xbox account name or if I play Call of Duty. But my most favorite was when a obviously drunk guy stumbled into our store from the restaurant next door. He saw me, proceeded to shout "Holy sh*t, I've found paradise!" and storm up to the counter and ask me if I would marry him. I only stared at him, politely declined and he then started crying, saying "Damnit! Why cant I marry a girl who plays video games?!" Lets just say a drunken proposal from some impaired whack-job was the highlight of my evening.- Anonymous

I'm an usher at a movie theater, and we all have to wear ear pieces that hook up to walkie-talkies so we can communicate with our managers and projectionist. One day our projectionist couldn't get hers to work right, and one of our managers told her to blow on her hole, referring to where the ear piece hooks up with the walkie-talkie. Without skipping a beat our shy manager comes in with the perfectly timed, "Giggity."- Anonymous

I used to work at a grocery store that also sells movies. I was closing the store one night and there was one customer left in the store. She walked up and couldn't have been younger than 70. All she bought was 3 "adult" movies, a can of vaseline, and an overly large cucumber…I say "have a good night" and she gives me this wickedly sinister pedo-smile, winks and says "Oh you know i will baby…" I then went home and took the longest, hottest shower of my life.- Anonymous

My first job was at McDonald's in Cody, Wyoming. I was assigned Drive Thru on my first day (an apparently highly coveted position) because I filled my application out correctly including spelling. The assistant store manager's one and ONLY rule was "If anyone comes thru and just orders a drink, we spit in the bottom of the cup together, or you can just do it if we're really busy. The drive thru is meant for meals." I got fired because I wouldn't follow the "rule."- Anonymous

I once worked at a grocery store and an older woman (around 50) walked up to the Customer Service counter to buy a few things. I told her "I'll take you down here" and motioned her towards my register. She walked over seductively and said "Oh, you'll TAKE me right here over the counter?" I was speechless…- Anonymous

I used to work at a Borders bookstore, and one day a high school couple came in and asked me if we had the film "The Catcher in the Rye," which they needed for a book report (yes). I explained, politely, that no such film exists. "So, you don't have it in stock?" "No," I replied, "because they never made a film version of that book." "We just want the movie," they insisted. Tapping into a reservoir of patience normally found only in Buddhist monks, I again told them that no store, anywhere in the world, would have such a film, because it simply does not exist. After this, the girl turned to the guy and said, "Should we try Barnes and Noble?" I don't think they passed.- Chris M.

I work at a Pizza Hut delivery in the UK, and over Christmas, we decided that, due to the large amounts of snow and ice and generally crappy driving conditions, we weren't going to deliver pizzas, but people could come in to collect them. At least ten times in one night, I had to explain to irate customers on the phone that it was not safe to send our drivers across the city to deliver their food, but we could guarantee that if they came to collect it, it would be ready and waiting for them, with a hefty discount. The answer almost every time? "You expect me to go out in this? It's far too dangerous for me to drive! I only live 2 miles away, can't they deliver it?"- H. Cutts

I'm a junior high teacher at a charter school, so usually the kids are pretty smart. However, the other day I was discussing Star Trek with one of the kids and mentioned that the actress playing Uhura had almost quit before Martin Luther King Jr. called her and told her not to. Another student sitting near us interrupted to say, "Wait – they had Star Trek when Abraham Lincoln was president?" He didn't even seem to realize the extent of his stupidity until the rest of the class started laughing.- Anonymous