Butts Make the Best Headrests - Image 3
Welcome to Work Sucks, the column where you get to complain about your most terrible, lousy, soul-sucking jobs. In this issue, we've brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. If your job sucks even worse than this, submit your story at the bottom of this page.

I've worked at a chain-supermarket for nearly 3 years and I've dealt with a lot of interesting folks. Once about a week before Easter, I was asked to help a woman find Easter egg dye, as supplies were running thin. I finish bagging the current order and find the woman standing at the end of the checkout, looking at a magazine and started to say "Ma'am, are you the customer looking for egg dye?" only to be cut off at "Ma'am". The woman gave me an evil glare and snarled "Don't call me 'Ma'am', that's for old people. I'm only 47—I'm not old!" I thought she was joking and smiled and laughed, only to be given a slap across the face.- Anonymous

One time when I was working at a grocery store an old lady kept complaining that the bag I put her milk in was too heavy. The problem was, the milk was the only item in the bag, and I couldn't convince her that there was no way to make it lighter.- Anonymous

I used to do parking enforcement on a private lot for a particularly strict property manager. Basically if you're not a customer I'm supposed to ticket you. This lot is near some trails so a lot of people want to park here and then go jogging, walk their dog, that sort of thing. Since I'm not a dick, I just let them know they need to park somewhere else and give them options instead of letting them walk away and leaving them a ticket. This particular individual got out of his car with his dog and began gradually walking his way down one of the paths. Very slowly, so I wasn't sure what he was doing. After he was getting far enough away for me to think he was going for a walk, I went over to let him know about the clearly posted signs because I didn't want to ticket him, and he spent the next 10 minutes, literally, going off on me about being a power-hungry asshole who gets off on ruining people's days. He was there to pick up someone from an appointment (which I obviously should've known of course), and I shouldn't be harassing people just going about their lives. Most people prefer the warning instead of coming back to a ticket on their car, but you do get the occasional person like this.- Anonymous

So I work as a manager at a popular pizza joint in Ontario. Our store had been working a large event, making us backed up on orders by a few minutes, and no pizza slices on display to sell. We promptly informed customers it would be a 5 minute wait to get a slice. An irate costumer approached me after ordering 2 minutes ago, screaming about when her pizza would be ready. I promptly informed her again of the time it would take for the pizza to be ready, to which she responded "People like you should die!" Another customer, who had been waiting 4 minutes for a chicken order (regular chicken time is 6 minutes) overheard her, to which he agreed that 'People like me should die'. I always imagined how my life would end, I never thought it would be over a pepperoni slice.- Anonymous

I just got fired for not working on my vacation.- D.S.

I was in the office relaxing in a chair. I leaned my head back and thought to myself, "Wow, what a comfy headrest." Then I realized, that chair didn't have a headrest. I had been leaning head against my cute co-worker's ass for 2 minutes and she never said a thing.- Anonymous

I work as a bagger at the grocery store on a navy base during the breaks when I'm home from school. We don't get a salary, just tips. This can be both good and bad at times, usually bad considering we have only one small sign to let people know this (we used to have more but one person complained they felt pressured to tip…well you should when we cram 2 carts worth of groceries into your little 2 seat sports car in 100 degree heat). Anyways, I bagged some groceries for this old lady in a motorized cart and of course was going to be extremely nice since she looked in poor health. We proceeded outside when she suddenly forgot where her car was parked. I followed her for about 20 minutes while she (slowly I might add since she is in a cart) looked for it (97 degrees and FL humid out this day). I finally asked if she had an alarm on her car keys that she could press to find the car. She said she did and tried for 10 minutes to no avail. I left her in the shade and walked the entire parking lot up and down with the keys while pressing the alarm and no luck. Somehow, she remembered where she parked when I got back to her, so we started the slow walk to her car. She decided to take the cart off-road in this little tree patch we have in the median and got stuck. So I had to lift the cart, with her still seated in it, and place the entire thing back on the road. We finally got to her car, and realized she had given me the keys and alarm button to her car at home, not the one she drove today so all our previous attempts over the last 30 min were pointless. I put her groceries in the car and hoped for a good tip seeing as I was very nice to her and spent the last hour in the heat looking for her car. She gave me a quarter but then said "You were so nice to me, let me give you something extra" to which she handed me a dime….Oh, and she also walked at this point, but never even thought to get out and stand when I was lifting her and her cart out of the dirt.- Anonymous

My job is to answer the phone at a pizza delivery place. Today I got a call asking to get a pizza delivered to Philip J. Fry at 'the cryonics place'. I started laughing and my boss came over and asked what was so funny. He made me apologize to the kids on the line and look on Google for any local cryonics places.- Anonymous

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it.- Anonymous

I sadly was the cause of someone's Work Sucks story. I was on a road trip when the call of nature beckoned. I saw a small gas station/convenience store ahead and pulled in. There was a single unisex bathroom for the whole store and when I went in the toilet was clogged up and near overflowing with what looked like 3 or 4 uses without a successful flush. I was in dire straights so I figured as long as I didn't flush I wouldn't make the situation too much worse. Sadly after decades of training the instinct to flush overcame my plan and I flushed, overflowing the foul mess onto the floor. As I scampered out to avoid stepping in it, I told the clerk there might be a little "problem" in the bathroom. I hightailed it to the car, but still was able to hear her scream "OH MY GOD!!!" before I jumped in the car and made my getaway. Sorry.- Anonymous