4/20 has arrived and the country needs to sit back, relax, and Netflix-marathon a season of Adventure Time now more than ever. Except you guys can't do any of those things because you're too busy dealing with a bunch of other stressful shit. Now, what if I told you that there's a place not too far from here where all your greenest dreams can come true? No more worrying about Big Brother punishing you for channeling your inner Bob Marley. No more overpriced, under effective ganja. And most importantly you'll be under the protection of North America's largest safety net in the off chance you manage to hurt yourself. That's right, I'm talking about Canada motherfuckers.
Now before you politically correct Ivy Leaguers try and interrupt with a, "omg Canada is so not like this, what a stereotype!" just know that the author of this article is Canadian. I say "aboot" and "eh" and all that shit. I apologize even when it's not my fault. Trust in my authority! But you know, only if you want to.
This April 20th, come pay the land of perpetual winter a visit. You won't regret it! Just check out the brochure!