Tornado Warnings Dont Apply To Asshles - Image 3
Welcome to Work Sucks, the column where you get to complain about your most terrible, lousy, soul-sucking jobs. In this issue, we've brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. If your job sucks even worse than this, submit your story at the bottom of this page.

I'm a security officer and work in a big office building. One night we received a tornado warning so I then evacuated the 85 employees that were still there down to the shelter. I then patrolled all three floors to look for anyone who may have not heard the evacuation announcement. I found one guy in his office who refused to leave stating "Those procedures are for hourly employees and I am busy so please shut my door." I made two more attempts to get him to the shelter, letting him know that if hes not following procedure that he's free to go home as I can't legally hold him in the building however I let him know that should he choose to stay he must follow company procedures regardless of payroll status. He told me to get off my power trip and get out of his face. I went down to the shelter mere seconds before the roof was starting to cave in. When it was all done, I went up to check on him and he fallen to the floor and his desk was laying on top of his cold quivering wet body. He had the balls to then ask me for help.- Anonymous

I work at a summer camp, and at a father-daughter camping weekend, this guy asked me while his daughter was horse riding, "Would now be a good time to tell her I'm not her real dad?".- Heather J

So I worked at a toy store for a while, so you can imagine the stories. Anyway, one day, as I was about to clock out at work, an older woman (who resembles Shirley Phelps Roper from Westboro Baptist Church) grabbed my attention. By this time, I was long gone from the register, but I thought I'd be nice and just let this one slide. So I go back and I log in so I can ring her up. She then decides to say, "Haha, you might as well go ahead and ring me up. I was standing there for a while." I just smiled and scanned the items in her cart.Then she started to babble and mutter something along the lines about the sermon she just came from at church (it was a Sunday, after all). So to be nice back, I would exchange a few nice "oh, yes", "that sounds nice", or something along those lines. As I got done with her transaction and as she was about to leave I said to her, "Thank you for coming and have a lovely day, ma'am."The moment I said ma'am, she turned around and glared at me as if the flesh would melt off her face. She the. Proceeds to say, "See, now you've ruined my day. How dare you call me ma'am?! Now apologize, right now!"I looked at her with so much confusion and my coworkers all stopped to watch. I look back at her, hoping she was joking. She then barks at me and says, "Go on, apologize."I did what any normal employee would do. As I clocked out of work, I turned back around and said, "I apologize, ma'am."- Victoria

I work for a marketing company that does demos in grocery stores. An hour into my 6 hour shift I realized that I get paid to be verbally abused, ignored, and generally treated like dirt continually, all for trying to give people a free sample. At the end of my shift I sat in my car and cried because I don't understand how people can be that mean.- Anonymous

I had just started a new job in a clothing store as a sales associate and my boss had me stationed as greeter. My job was to welcome people and tell them our promotions. So when a grumpy looking couple walked in I went up to them and said "Hi there, how are you today?" Of course my mistake was asking how they were. The man replied with "My dad died today how do you think I feel?" At first I was shocked that he would be so blunt and then I got irritated and almost said 'Then what the hell are you doing at the goddamn mall? Go mourn your father's death like a grateful son.' But that would have gotten me fired so I just kind of awkwardly walked away. - 687vaults

Over the holiday I worked at Target in the photo department. Our equipment was always breaking due to age. Often to the extent we'd call customers the order they placed will not be ready for hours due to the sheer volume of holiday stuff. I worked most shifts with an Indian girl. Sometimes she would see a number on the CID of an angry customer and respond "Tech support how is it that I will be helping you." Repeat this until no one called back.- Anonymous

I'm the customer service supervisor at a large department store and sometimes i have to work in other departments when they are understaffed or super busy. One time, i was asked to work in the back loading docks as they were understaffed, which is possibly my least favorite job in the store right next to cosmetics. Anyway there was one other guy working with me and it was his second shift so he didn't know much about what to do. Fortunately what he lacked in skill he made up for in enthusiasm and he was constantly bouncing around like a Hampster on No-doz. While we were doing the job of moving car batteries from one pallet to another, i knocked off the car battery sitting at the top of a huge pile i'd been working on, and this New Guy came and grabbed it mid fall, last minute. He gave me this fantastic expression of surprised glee and proceeded to yell at the top of his lungs "I'M THE BEST!" as he hurled it into the air above us with hulk-like strength. The battery exploded on the roof and car battery acid went everywhere, and started melting little holes in all the cardboard boxes around us. As if this day weren't ridiculous enough, my Boss came down and with an expression of shocked horror, questioned us both vigorously on what had happened. I began to tell him but then this new guy interrupts with "Your boss came down and poked holes in all the boxes with this pen". Both my Boss and i were to stunned to speak, but eventually he responded with "Really?" and just like that we were off the hook.- M J

I used to work at a small ice cream parlor. One day, my boss and I were talking about studying abroad and I brought up how I wanted to study in Italy. My boss was CONVINCED that Italy was one of the 50 United States and when I told her I didn't think that was right, she looked at me patronizingly and told me she couldn't have idiots working in her ice cream shop. This woman decides how much I get paid? You've gotta be kidding me.- Anonymous

I once worked at a fast food restaurant; let's call it Fake Chinese Food Express. You get all kinds of crazies and jerks at these kind of places, but one day takes the cake. So this kid comes in looking to be in his mid 20's. He walks up to the counter and asks for the vegetable noodles. After I scoop some into a box, he proceeds to tell me that it's too much. I then empty it out a little, at which point he gets angry at me because "I'm stealing his noodles." After I get the right amount of noodles into his box, he lloks me dead in the eye and sasy "can you pick out the vegetables?" At this point I had been on shift for 6 hours and did not want to deal with this moron, but because my manager was there, I couldn't do anything so I proceeded in picking out his vegetables while giving him a dirty llok. It's at this point that his mother, a rather large and imposing woman, walks up behind him and asks what I'm doing. When I explain that her son ordered noodles without vegetables, she grabs by the ear in line (mind you people are standing behind him) says very loudly, "You are GOING to EAT your vegetables," and then smiles at me and nods Needless to say I gave her extra egg rolls (and come on guys, keep it clean) when my boss wasn't looking. Thank God for kickass moms.- Anonymous

One Summer I worked at a rock yard where people would buy decorations for their back and front yards. We sold stuff like grass, small rocks and large rocks (over 100lbs) used to make path ways. One hot summer day while working with a young man barely 18 and he probably weighed 130lbs we had a woman come in and ask us to help her. She wanted large rock pieces (over 100lbs and was very picky on color) because she was building a pathway for her backyard. So me and this young guy picked out several large stones by hand, weighed them, as well as loaded them into her truck (while she just stood there and bossed us around complaining we weren't moving fast enough) we were almost finished, when she turns to me fanning her face with a fan and says "Man I'm exhausted picking out these stones this is hard work!"……Yup it must be hard to tell people what stones to pick the easy part is lifting them!!- Anonymous

I work as a receptionist in a veterinary office. This weekend we had a client come in with her dog who had just given birth to two puppies. One of the puppies had already passed and the one still living was not doing well so we rushed it to the back. As she stood there waiting for the vet to come up, my coworker and I realized this woman was tripping balls. She started telling us how the dead puppy was glowing (it wasn't), her coat was covered in bugs that were coming alive (it was lint) etc. At one point she disappeared into the bathroom for over 10 minutes and it became my job to knock on the door and check if she was shooting up. When I knocked, she answered asking for more toilet paper and I went to grab some. I came back and she answered the door with her pants around her ankles and a piece of toilet paper covered with her feces in her hand. She shoved it towards my face and asked me if I saw the black dots in it and if that was normal because she thought she was catching what the dogs had. She also gestured to whatever horrors lay in the actual toilet bowl but I told her I wasn't a doctor and walked away. I need a new job.- Anonymous

I currently work for one of the John Lewis Stores in the kitchen appliances department only on part time hours as that was the only hours they could give. Yesterday I was helping a customer buy a coffee machine trying to track down the one she wanted because our systems said we had at least one which turned out to be wrong so I showed her the best alternatives. I was with this customer for nearly an hour and finally she decided to buy one. After I open the box for her to show her it's definitely brand new she starts asking how long I've worked there and how many hours do I work, I tell her I've been there for 3 months but I'm only part time and really want more hours. She then tells me that I've really impressed her and pulls out a card and tells me that she's an area manager if I ever want to work for Hugo Boss at one of their stores to contact her as they can.- Anonymous

Kobe Bryant came into the Barnes and Noble store that I work at in Orange County. He was just there to pick up some gifts and was trying to keep a low profile. When he walked in, the lady who I was helping got really excited, looked at me, and said, "Look over there, it's Michael Jordan!"- Anonymous