Tinder is arguably the most fun game currently available for the iPhone. The "dating" app is fantastic, but still has a long way to go, so I went ahead and specced out some new design features that would really come in handy.
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8 Upgrades Tinder Needs to Make Now
Tinder, the newest "dating" app to take the world by storm is arguably the most fun game currently available for the iPhone. The app is still in its infancy and has a long way to go, so I went ahead and specced out some new design features that would really come in handy. 1) Highlight Girl/Guy One of the keys to Tinder's success is verification that you're actually a human. How do they do that? Well, the only way to create an account is by giving the app access to your Facebook account, at which point Tinder imports your four most recent profile pictures. Unfortunately, a lot of people have pictures of them with a bunch of friends, making it especially difficult to figure out which one of these lovelies will be the mother/father of your future/current children. Highlighting solves this dilemma and will allow you to cycle through more potential bang buddies at a quicker pace. Tinder apologizes in advance that, no, it's not that super hot one on the left. IMAGE: Screenshot of profile picture with a bunch of girls. One of them is highlighted. (Not a super hot blonde one on the left) 2) Rump Jump Don't like the name? Too bad. This is my fantasy, not yours. As I mentioned, one of the more annoying aspects of the group photo is that, more often than not, you're attracted to one of their friends (i.e., that super hot one on the left). The Rump Jump feature would redirect you to the hottest person's Tinder profile by simply touching them in the photo. If they don't have a Tinder profile because they're stupid and selfish human beings, the app connects to Facebook so you can holla the old fashioned way - by poking or gifting a $5 Starbucks card. IMAGE: Group photo with pop-up jump option (Super hot blonde girl from before.) 3) Validation Find it stressful that you never get any matches but don't want to lower your expectations? I don't know the feeling, but my ugly loser friends do and I get pretty close to sympathizing with them after I make them buy me a bunch of drinks and the Mountain O' Nachos at D&B. Logic follows that you should be able to see everyone who has ever liked you. Just show it to us. We're curious. You have the data, just like, show us. I want to know. I have a right to know. And yeah, maybe it defeats the purpose of the app, but I want to know. IMAGE: List of match page: Recent divorcée - Hilda 22 year-old with picture of them at age 2 - Kathy Overly sexual 16 year-old - Jessica Girl who lives 700 miles away - Ali Girl who started Dramatic Theater Club in HS - Molly Transvestite from the Bronx - La China 4) Auto-Pilot Every morning I wake up covered in a thick, filmy sweat because I know I've just wasted the past 14 hours of sleep NOT Tindering. Yeah, I dream of all the Tinder match-ups I've had in the past, DUH, but that dream quickly dissolves into a nightmare when I realize all the matches I have yet to get. Heck, my future wife is idly waiting for me on the other end and I'm letting that slip away. Instead of waiting for waking hours to start liking girls, this feature would run a program which would auto like every girl I missed while I was sleeping like a stupid idiot. Hundreds, NAY, thousands of people would be cycled through, hopefully offering me a couple matches when I wake up in the morning to Tinder in the shower. IMAGE: Would it be difficult to do the Tinder logo (the flame) with a progress meter that signifies "Tindering" is happening? (WITH A FUCKING FLAME GROWING LARGER AND LARGER) 5) Catfish Net There's nothing worse than showing up to your local froyo joint to meet the girl/guy of your dreams only to realize you've been catfished. Word to the wise - if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Unless it's peach mango swirl froyo from this lovely little hole in the wall. Fat-free?! Hahahaha WHAT? HOW? Any girl/guy who looks like a model and immediately wants to meet up with you probably doesn't exist. I suggest the Tinder Gods slap a catfish over anyone who seems suspiciously beautiful/friendly. It'd save all of us cool dudes/dope chicks a lot of time and public humiliation. IMAGE: Rollover of beautiful girl with catfish photoshopped in place of her head (Maybe the blonde from earlier?) 6) Photo Op Like its Hot-or-Not predecessor, success on Tinder is largely based on physical appearance. The picture in your photo gallery can only be curated with images currently living on Facebook, but not everyone in the friggin' world has an awesome line-up of photos like yours truly. We're all not as well-traveled (Daytona Beach, FL), adventurous (Dave & Busters), or charming (Puppy pic) as the competition out there, so I propose a feature where you simply take a photo of yourself in front of a green screen, then Tinder lets you choose a background of a sick mountain, dope music festival or douchey European city. IMAGE: A dope music festival in a European city with Yosemite in the background. 7) Ex-Communication Unfortunately, exes continue to exist and function post break-up, and the last thing you want is for them to show up in your Tinder queue. They still look great while YOU (not me) look noticeably worse. That's fact. The Tinder of the future will allow you to block any and all exes who may also be on the prowl for fresh meat. Simply choose to never show up in their feed. Sorry Melissa, Emily, Natalie and Asian Melissa, standing me up at Bennigans was the last time you hurt this tender Tinder soul. IMAGE: Settings page with a list of banned names Melissa, Emily, Natalie and Asian Melissa 8) MElissa You can choose to ALWAYS show up in your exes' feed. Why should your insignificant others be happy? They broke your heart and never returned your beloved Big Dog sweatshirt. Bombard their feed with a never-ending supply of pictures of you two blissfully in love. It will either piss her off beyond belief or make her fall in love with you all over again - either way, it's a win win. IMAGE: Happy couple together