Welcome to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you've done to your roommate. If you think you can top these stories, confess your sins at the bottom of this page.

I Got My Roommate Kicked Out of His Church - Image 3

I used to teach self defense classes at a local church in my area. Someone else who works there are a fitness instructor who also attends church there asked if I wanted to split an apartment together. I was like of course that sounds like a great idea to me. I was under the assumption that since he spends so much time at church that he leads a somewhat moral filled life. Worst assumption of my life. First thing is first, I am a college student and I spend what precious moments of my life that i am not working or studying relaxing. His idea of relaxing is constantly throwing parties at our apartment without my permission or even so much as telling me. He smokes pot, drinks heavily, and eats everything in the fridge. I could somewhat deal with that part of living with him but after a month of living with him he started bringing his friends around. Every time they came over my things would go missing. Keep in mind these are people that he goes to church with. So I got an additional lock for my door to keep this from happening again. My breaking point was when I came home early from work one day to find he had kicked in my door and they were raiding my room for shit to sell for drugs. We were coming up on the end of our lease and I had found a new job so I decided to get him back. I tried to talk to the pastor at his church about it but he would not do anything about it. Whenever he had parties at our house I would take pictures of all of the horrible things he would do. Keg stands, bong rips, all of the things that you should not be doing as a church goer. I uploaded all of the pictures to Facebook and tagged him as well as various members of the church in the picture album. Not only was he fired but he was asked to leave the church. On top of that his father refused to pay anymore rent for him until he went through a Christian drug rehab as well as stopped paying his car payments. Moral of the story being, not even in a church will you find a good roommate.- ittakesraintogrow

so when i left for college before freshman year my dad gave me one of those 36 packs of condoms cuz hes a cool dad. When i got there and unpacked my stuff i threw them in my desk drawer not thinking anything of it. Then i met my roommate, this guy was creepy. He was one of those kind of dudes that never leaves the room and plays computer games all day. also, every time i would have a girl up to the room he would stop playing his games and just sit there staring at her and listen to our conversations. it was just weird. anyways, i met a girl about 2 weeks into school and basically moved in with her right after. she was on birth control and also had a bunch of condoms so i left mine in my dorm. every time i would come back to my room (about 10 minutes every 2 weeks) i would notice that some of them were gone. i was happy for the guy! i thought he was getten some from some other nerdy chick he met online or something. but boy was i wrong. i walked in one day to find him wareing my boxers pulled up into a thong beating his meat with one of my condoms on watching bestiality porn. it was grose. im scarred for life. im also freaked out. so on move out day i was the first one to move out. it was the first time i had been back to my room since. (i didnt want to walk in on that again). and all of my condoms were gone. aparently he did it 36 times in like 3 months. thats about 3 times a week. weird. i found a nasty peice of fried chicken that had been in my frig the whole semester and put it in his pollowcase. that was after i busted my load all over everything he owned. especially into his computers disk drive. you are one weird mother fucker dude- Anonymous

So, Josh, remember that time you slapped my girlfriend in the ass, and played it like you didn't know we were dating, even though we lived together for nearly a year? Ya, that was funny wasn't it? ha ha ha. And dude, remember how after I moved out, your smoke alarm went off nearly EVERY night and everyone had to evacuate even though it was a false alarm? Wow, everybody was pissed at you the rest of your time at school weren't they? Well, just goes to show you, don't fuck with a fire fighter, cause you mess with one of us, you mess with the whole department dick head, and we dont fuck around! Oh! And hows that shiner your neighbor gave you for waking him up every night doing? Hope that healed up by now! lol!- Anonymous

you know when you were going to have sex with someone that you thought i had no clue about. you remember telling me your grandma was in the hospitol and we couldnt hang out or anything. well that person you thought you were going to have sex with was me with some random persons pictures on myspace. why do you think they never showed up. i was watching the whole time thinking you dumb whore. i was loving it becuase i was looking for a reason to break up with you. you were the most annoying and dumbest blonde i ever meet. no you retard m&ms dont go in alphabetical order and no your m&ms werent broken. you are retarded. o yea remember when a bunch of your clothes smelled that was me i was drunk and puked all over them and just wiped the puke off of them. remember when your cell phone got shut off after we broke up. well thats becuase i talked to the person you stole it from and even tho you were paying her to keep it running i told her to keep taking the money split it with me well buy mad liqour and get drunk. well you ran the phone bill to 800 and i got 400 and you got no more cell phone- Anonymous

My roommate last year had no friends at school and would cling to me and my friends all the time. She never left the room because she had nobody else to hang out with. She actually went out one night so I had some friends over drinking. My one, who also hated her, was so wasted that he slept in her bed and ended up pissing himself in his sleep. When he woke up in the morning and realized what happened, he rolled around in her bed and wiped her pillows on her crotch. When she came back she hopped in her bed, covering her face in her pillows. That's what you get for washing your sheets once a year.- Anonymous

Hey, wonder why your face has looked like shit for the past 3 months? I poured melted butter and spat in ALL your acne products, and I had my friend piss in your conditioner bottle. Don't you dare throw my shoes in the pool again, bitch.- Anonymous

I have this fat lazy suite mate that dropped all my classes when he was drunk just before the term started (my passwords were saved). I had to scramble to fill my credits and take shitty hours. He is going on a trip this summer to Europe and booked his flight months ago. Shortly after I canceled his tickets and he has yet to notice, and he leaves in 1 month. Enjoy your expensive tickets, asshole.- Anonymous

i pissed in my Listerine before i left…and i know your gonna use it…bastard.- Anonymous