Its Me, Monday

Good morning! It's me, the first day of the week! And how are you this fine me? Oh…I see. I'm sorry to hear that. But did you at least have a good Saturday and Sunday? Great! Yeah, those guys are the best. We're kind of a little crew, me and them. Yup, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. The big 3!

Why would you think I'd be closer with Tuesday and Wednesday? Haha. No way! I'm soooo not like Tuesday! It's weird you think that. Tuesday's all "I'm Tuesday, blah blah blah, there's no good TV on me, I'm boring, blah blah blah." That's not me. I'm Monday! Monday Fun Day!

You say "Sunday Fun Day"? Weird.

Oh hey, did you watch all the good shows last night? I did. I watched Game of Thrones, Mad Men, that new HBO one, Family Tree, and…Oh, you went to bed early? Why? Not because of me, right?

Ah…I see. Work, right. But what about a few weeks ago when you were partying and…huh? Who is 'Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day'? You know what, never mind.

So what's the plan, my man? Are we gonna raise some hell or what? Seriously? 'Go to work, come home, watch something and go to sleep'? That's it? Pretty…pretty…pretty…pretty lame. HA! Curb. But for real, why don't you hit the town tonight, grab some drinks, make some memories and mistakes?!

You keep saying that but I don't know what a 'weak day' is. Oh, 'Week' day. That's better. Ha. I was worried for a second that you were trying to say I was the worst day or something. Like 'Monday is a weak day, brah.' If you call something weak, don't you always want to end that sentence with 'brah'? Ugh, this gauc is weak, brah! Ugh, these waves are weak, brah! Ugh, these fish tacos are weak, brah! I guess I'm just hearing a SoCal surf guy in my head or something. I dunno.


You know, I was just thinking about how Thursday is, like, kind of a shit day and…Oh, you're at work now? Really? This early? Wow. No, right, of course you can't talk. Totally get it.

Well hey, enjoy me! I'm only here once a week and you'll miss me when I'm gone! It's like that one episode of Curb where Larry and Jeff go to…right, you're at work. Gotcha. Sorry.

Sorry for everything.