Welcome to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you've done to your roommate. If you think you can top these stories, confess your sins at the bottom of this page.

I Superglued Her Door Shut

One day my housemate decided to start locking her room door and shooting me nasty stares every time. So naturally I super glued her door shut. Oops.- Anonymous

Your bed has gone through a lot while you were gone. I puked on it, farted on it, and dried my dishes on it. Is that not ok?- nihil-ex-nihil0

i hated my old housemates, they hated me. I had to move out so they wouldnt beat me up and i was homeless. I pissed on everybody tooth brush EVERY day and replaced facewash with piss. Sucked in dickheads!- gotdatattitude

Hey dipshit…even though your like 40 something…or at least look it, I wanted to let you know how much you suck when you would always hog the community TV in the dorm break/game room. You seem to always beat us in there and watch these stupid western movies instead of what we want to watch. And you always drink so much that by 11pm you pass out. So yeah, that was me that called the campus police (911) at 11:45 p.m. that night and told them that I was overdosing from a bottle of sleeping pills. You never even moved even though I was calling from the TV room that you passed out in. Crazy huh that you starting fighting the 4 cops and 6 firefighters that responed to "save your life". OMG I pissed myself laughing so hard once they tried to get an IV in your arm. Also, so sorry you were later arrested for battery on a police officer. Guess you shouldn't hog the tv room and pass out from being so drunk…asshole.- Anonymous

So you treated my girlfriend like shit, thought you were so funny bragging about it, and didnt realize everyone could overhear you on your phone. I heard a rumor once that semen makes a smile whiter, so I pulled out your toothbrush when me and her were jumping in the shower….By the way…Ive noticed you have a much whiter smile, been bleaching?- Anonymous

You were a complete jackass all semester, having no respect for anyone and acting like you were better than everyone else just because your family has money. just for kicks and giggles i decided to clean up the piss you left on the toilet seat every day with your wash cloth. Then i decided you deserved better that that, so i started unloading by baby butter into your bottle of face wash, strange how that one tiny bottle lasted all semester, so pretty much on a daily basis you were putting a fresh layer of piss and my jizz all over your face. Have a great life jackass- Anonymous

My roommate had a really nice razor that she used for her upper lip. When she pissed me off I used to use it to shave my pubes.- deannamarie1990

It was funny for me to watch you desperately try to remove your nail polish when I replaced your nail polish remover with eye makeup remover. I did sort of feel bad when you tried to take off your eye makeup with the nail polish remover. Thank god you didn't lose your sight like the doctor suggested. Then I would have felt almost bad.- Anonymous

So this would be, more of a request for confession. He knows what we did, and why, but there is something very interesting I would like to hear him admit to. Here are the facts, a party was being thrown at our (my 4 room mates and I) new apartment. My Girlfriend decided to make the Journey from Philly to Vermont to see me. Things were going swimmingly all night, until he draped himself in my garb and convinced my drunk GF he was me, and had sex with her. The payback was simple, sweet, and superbly executed. My other room mates assisted me in taking small samples of feces from outdoors and placing them strategically around his room. In his dresser desk, shoes, etc. The icing on the cake however, was the 2 ample pieces of goose poo place in his open mouth (snores a lot, don'cha hate it). In the morning he told us he was moving out (He never found a sublet, so we had a full empty room that he continued to pay for, god bless his soul). He noticed the poop around the room, but nothing was ever said about the fecal matter placed in his mouth. So, I request a confession, what happened to those last few dookies.- Anonymous