You know when you have tens of thousands of dollars lying around but nothing to do with them? UGH, so annoying! Luckily for you, here are 10 stupid things you could spend a small fortune on and live a happy life never ever regretting, ever.
1. Sea Turtle Poster From Just Go With It, $13,500.00
(Buy it here.)A priceless relic from a classic Adam Sandler film that earned an impressive 19% on Rotten Tomatoes, this painted sea turtle floats in his 6 by 18 foot swath of cool ocean blue like you'll be floating in your friends' widespread approval after spending 13 thousand dollars on it.
2. Pez Dispenser Heads Shaped Like Monsters, $22,500.00
(Buy it here.)Complete with idiotic character names like "Zombi" and "Vamp," these 6 spookily collectible gems are going for 22.5k, or roughly $3,750 per cubic inch of cheap plastic covered in chipping paint. You'd think for that price they'd at least include some pez too. Or learn how to spell zombie.
3. Three-Inch Statue of Dude With Sword, $37,000.00
(Buy it here.)You know an item is valuable when the seller has to specify in the title of the post that it isn't a piece of scrap metal. And that it in fact MIGHT be a paperweight or a chess piece or something, but who can really say for sure, you know?
4. Sexy Anime Figurine, $13,300.00
(Buy it here.)It's a good thing the only description whatsoever of this item is that it's 28cm long, because I really, really don't want to know what its future buyer is planning on doing with it. No matter what, we can probably say with some confidence that he or she is overpaying. People know you can get porn for free online, right? Fleshlights are like, 70 bucks. Whatever. None of my business.
5. Fancy Teddy Bear, $30,000.00
(Buy it here.)30 large seems kind of expensive for a bear with annoying designer symbols stamped all over it, but hey at least it's not smiling, soft-looking, or remotely comforting in any way!
6. Lebron James' Old Underpants, $2,323.23
(Buy it here.)Talk about playing for the Heat, right ladies?? (No, I don't know what I mean either.) Anyway, despite the adorable pricing of the panties at 23-23 and 23 cents, these are almost definitely not Lebron James' real underpants. According to the description, the seller got them from the car trunk of a guy who "said he was the laundry boy for the Cavs" and "LBJ with the number 23 is written on the tag." Pull on your welding goggles, y'all, because that proof sounds IRONCLAD.
7. Bunch of Old Golf Bags, $175,000.00
(Buy it here.)Oooh, 43 personalized golf bags used by players on the PGA Tour. I'm soooo impressed. Even if golf were a real sport or deserved any kind of respect (it isn't and it doesn't), who wants a bunch of smelly, sweaty old leather bags hanging around their house [HC- remember to fill in joke about old golfers' testicles later]? The only cool thing about this collection is that one of the bags was once owned by a guy called Chi Chi Rodriguez. Chill name.
8. Stuffed Animal Noah's Ark Scene, $103,500.00
(Buy it here.)Phew, let me tell ya, if I have one weakness, it's spending too much on "religious bible stuffed animals." I can't get enough! I'm hugging my plush Jesus-on-the-cross for strength as I type this! (His blood is made of velvet.)
9. Old Raisin Box, $700,000.00
(Buy it here.)This "vintage" Sun-Maid package may be a "great original piece of American History," but something about it just looks a little, I dunno, EXACTLY THE SAME AS RAISIN CONTAINERS IN 2013. Adding insult to injury, the seller doesn't answer the most important question of all: are the raisins still inside???? I'm so hungry.
10. Sassy Dragon Warrior Statue, $90,000.00
(Buy it here.) Okay, this one's actually pretty dope. BRB, gotta move some funds around.