Stoner walks into his buddy's off-campus apartment
Just took one of the top ten most epic naps of my life, dude. Spark one up let the 420 festivities officially begin.
He makes a gong noise.
Jesus, Danny, where have you been?!
Uhh, aforementioned epic nap, homie. Honestly, now that I've given it a little more thought, it could be a formidable contender against the Independence Day Nap of '09. Remember that one, Jacky Boy?
Danny, no one's seen you in weeks!
He eats loose peanut butter out of his pocket
We called in a missing persons report. Student volunteers searched the woods for days. We held a funeral, man!
Alright, stop messin' with me, dude. I'm sorry I'm a little late, but it's still 4:45 on 420, let's just blaze the fuck out.
He makes another gong noise
It's May 17th!
Oh here we go again everyone make fun of the stereotypical stoner rockin' a surfer cut and a drug rug. Getta new joke, Jack.
I had to write your obituary because your parents were too distraught. Your dad left his job, Danny.
Dude, quit it. I get it. I'll be more punctual and shit. Now pack the bowl. Peeee the beeee, G.
Danny, your baby sister ran away. We received a letter some time ago, from the looks of it her captor, describing in detail her destitute lifestyle a once graceful girl with all the promise in the world, now enslaved in the American sex trafficking ring, which apparently is a thing in the U.S.
Ok, OK. I'll keep my cell phone charged and I won't put it on silent anymore. Happy?
I held your mother as she wept!
Stoner reaches into other pocket. Pulls out loose jelly