So your paper is shorter than the required length, but you have nothing else to say. Don't worry, here are a few simple tricks to stretch out your paper. Follow these steps and you can easily turn one paragraph into four pages without anyone noticing!



The original paragraph. This is no good!

How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps


1. Add Extra Spaces and Orphaned Words.

You can add an extra space after each period, and try to rephrase sentences to get one extra word at the last line of a paragraph. This will give you a whole extra line for the cost of only one word!

How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps


2. Fill in the empty space with block quotes and footnotes.

Both perfectly acceptable, and look at how this article is filling out! It's still on the first page, but there's no need to panic. We've got this. We've totally got this.

How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps


3. I bet I could add a picture. The prof never said I couldn't.

Yeah, that's a great idea. A picture! I can always say I needed it to illustrate a point.

How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps


4. No one will notice if you change the spacing slightly.

Yeah, the prof SAID you need a 1" margin. And he SAID it should be double spaced. And he SAID that everything should be size 12, Times New Roman. But will he REALLY notice if you have 1.1" margins? Or 2.1x spacing? Or if your periods and commas are size 14 instead of size 12? No. He won't. He couldn't. How could he? This is going to work. It has to.

How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps


5. Fuck it! You can probably make 'em, like, 2" margins without anyone noticing.

I mean, is he going to be there with a ruler checking everyone's paper? Although I guess he could compare it to other papers. But you know what? I bet everyone does this. And does he really care that much? I bet he's as tired of grading papers as I am of writing them. Two inch margins it is!

How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps


6. Does that look weird? It looks weird, doesn't it? FUCK!

Okay, okay, maybe, like 1.5" margins instead. And I bet you could make those periods bigger. You know what? Just repeat some of those earlier steps. You know, edit. That's what they say, right? Writing is re-writing. You gotta go back and make things look right.

How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps
How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps


7. There! Perfect!

With a few more tweaks you're there. The perfect padded paper. And your idiot professor will be none the wiser!

How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps
How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps
How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps
How to Pad Your Paper in 9 Easy Steps