Welcome to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you've done to your roommate. If you think you can top these stories, confess your sins at the bottom of this page.

Your Protein Shake Had a Special Ingredient

Remember when i had all those protein shakes in my cabinet, and you were really drunk and wanted me to make you a protein shake. Well since i took care of your clumsiness all night, i took out my dog, and mixed his shit with the chocolate powder, and when you complained how bad it tasted i would just say thats how it tastes like sinces it has more protein. yeah what now- Anonymous

Hey do you remember that time you blacked out and woke up the next morning thinking that you pissed and shit your bed? The reality is that I pissed and shit your bed then placed you upon it. Maybe you'll think twice next time when you leave your drawers open and wear my sandals into the shower. BEOTCH.- Anonymous

Dear Justin(my freshman year roommate), I got the mail one day and there was a post card from your girlfriend from Europe that said something like, "miss ya, hope you like those pics I sent, wink." So while you were at class some people from down the hall and I went onto your comp and found them in your "documents" folder. Sorry, but everyone on the floor saw your girlfriendssaw your girlfriends cooter. And that's why there was so much snickering going on when she came to visit.- Anonymous

Housing screwed us over, and my two friends and I were assigned a complete tool to share our suite. Not only was he an immature retard, he was a slob. He left piles of useless crap everywhere (we found Christmas ornaments, a jack-o-lantern-shaped lamp, and a cookie sheet among his possessions), talked loudly on the phone while the rest of us were asleep, ate our food, and basically sat around mouth-breathing. But the good thing about him having so much stuff was that he never noticed when it went missing. Going through his pile one day, my friend indulged himself with a $10 Burger King gift card, I used up a $15 iTunes gift card, and my roommate took the functioning Wii he found in the bottom of the pile. Thanks for the generous donations, Kizzar, hope you have fun with your private apartment next year. I'm willing to bet you'll never have visitors.- Anonymous

Well, we're no longer roommates Tony so I can tell you everything. Let's see. First, you know how you thought you were better than everyone because you didn't drink? Well, you did, every day at about 9 in the morning. I put rum in your milk. When you asked why it smelled funny, I told you milk in cartons goes bad faster, but that's really just the rum. I ate a ton of your food. I only washed dishes I know you wouldn't use, and refused to wash what you would. I took my stuff home months in advanced just so you couldn't use it. I never gave a shit about whatever site you had to show me. That mysterious thong that turned up in your laundry, that your mom found? I put that there, in hopes that your fiance would break up with you. But we're still working on that one.- Anonymous

Dear roomie: When you were away, I soaked my infected toe in the cup you use to hold your toothbrush. I poured the water down the sink after but didn't wash it before replacing your toothbrush. I figured you wouldn't mind, since you seem to like living in filth, being that you never do dishes and drop food all over the floor, where it rots until I clean it up. Happy brushing!- Anonymous

Since you ate all my food, drank all my beer, even once smoked a quarter of my weed (really good shit too), and never payed your rent I figured I would get m money back. Your 50 inch LCD and PS3 look real nice in my bedroom. Your laptop is on its way to Oregon via ebay. I also hope your girlfriend is pregnant considering she took my condom off and told me she "would rather have have my baby than yours". And good luck getting home, since I slashed all four of your tires, including the spare. Oh and by the way, thanks for the bong. I plan to use it a lot.- Anonymous

So, when you decided to move home midway through the semester because you dropped out of all your classes but one, I was extremely excited. When I found the Chinese food you left under your bed in the duffel bag, along with the rest of your shit, six weeks later I was less than amused. It was convenient that the ants couldn't get back out of the bag, though, because that made it easier to scoop them out and put them in your computer tower. Good thing you finally came to get your stuff the an hour later, because I was really worried they would get into my stuff.- Anonymous

Remember when you're dog kept using my room to go to bathroom? Remember how you refused to clean it up because it was MY room? Remember how you also refused to put your dog on a chain while we were gone for the weekend because it was inhumane and you didn't have anywhere to keep him? Remember how I always fed him because you were too busy having sex with your underaged boyfriend? Well, I'd wait until you were asleep and put his pile right where you'd step on it in the morning. I also locked him in your room when you were gone for days at a time. Thanks for the memories and thanks for skipping out before the lease was up.- Anonymous