Looking to build the perfect classic alien spaceship, huh? Well you've come to the right place! My design firm has built thousands of these things, so I'll throw some ideas out and you can tell me what you think:
For the interior, first off, I'm thinking CATWALKS. We should have sterile, metal catwalks spiraling all over the damn place, and every inch of every wall should be covered in tubes. What kind of tubes? Insider Tip: It doesn't matter, they're just there for decoration, but if any of them get pulled out of the wall, they'll start shooting out dry-ice smoke for some reason. Sure, these smoke-shooting purposeless tubes will run you a few extra Rembulaxx (our form of money, as you already know), but it's the direction everyone's going in, and it'll definitely up the resale value.
For lighting, I'm thinking we go nice and traditional. Three words: Light Blue EVERYTHING. It'll mostly be pitch black, but then bathed in a really futuristic-seeming light blue, because MAN, do we love that color. Also we can coordinate the interior light-blue with the light-blue tractor beam, force field, and the lasers that we shoot. Also it's literally the only color of bulb available at Spaceship Depotblorff, so it's stylish and practical.
For the Medical Room, I'm thinking we paint everything SUPER white. Like, creepy-ass white, with an impossibly spotless glowing tile floor and one really ominous slab-shaped table in the very center. Then we surround the table with weird automated arms coming out of the ceiling with drills and stuff jutting out of them, which is partly aesthetic, but also useful for doing weird, scary operations. It's sleek, it's elegant, and Hyper-Scareminism is very in right now.
A couple other random design thoughts:
- The core should be a big pulsating aqua-colored thing that makes a low bass hum at all times and can easily be set to self-destruct. (It's not technically a Ranch unless you can bump a button and have it self destruct.)
- There should be one room with a bunch of glass pods containing a weird liquid and gross embryos. Can double-function as a breakfast nook.
- All the doors are slidey and automatic and make whooshing noises. Also they get dangerously sealed off anytime anything happens.
- The temperature is constantly super-hot or super-cold. Just something not normal, because we are aliens.
- Granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. Like, uhhhDUHHHH.
And finally, here's the kicker: the entire ship will be CIRCULAR. And the whole thing SPINS when it flies. And it emits a shrill, kinda Theremin-sounding "eeehooooeeehoooooeeehooo" noise whenever it's in the air, so it sounds like a loud, broken ray gun, but constantly.
What's that? You'll "be in touch?" Ok! Do you want to take my card? It's a clear blue microchip that plugs into a holo-puter that's different looking than computers now but will look crappy and dated in eleven years. No, you'll just call me? Oh, alright.
Well, I will talk to you soon then! And let me know ASAP so I can get started on pricing that purple embryo-preserving juice!