By Hallie Cantor
(all superimposed on stills of hunky guys dressed up as superman)
You must be made of Kryptonite, girl, because you're making me weak in the knees.
I'm a man of steel, too. Well...part of me is.
Superman may be from the DC universe, but you're a Marvel, girl.
Today's Daily Planet headline? I'm In Love.
If you were from the planet Krypton, your name would be Babe-El.
Hans Zimmer isn't the only one who'll be making an amazing score during this movie.
Are you a modern, feminist reboot of a character struggling to maintain her integrity in a dying industry, girl? Because I think you're my Lois Lane.
Just call me Dylan SPRAY-berry, girl. That's the talented young actor playing 13-year-old Clark Kent in flashback scenes.
What? Why is it weird that I know that?
What do you mean, "obsessed with this movie"?
No, I'm not suggesting you'd want to sleep with a 13-year-old. Can we just drop it?
Girl, you make me as excited as when I found out that Zack Snyder would be shooting the film in 2D because of the limitations of 3D filming but converting it into 3D in post-production for a release in 2D, 3D, and IMAX 3D to give viewers several different aesthetic options.
Whatever. I guess some people can't handle a little romance.