Our nation's most famous silversmith, and the man many believe secretly caused its iconic crack with a "Liberty Bell solo" during the first rendition of the star spangled banner. Revere is perhaps most celebrated for his night time ride warning of the redcoats' approach in advance of the battles of Lexington and Concord. Legend had it that Revere took a shot of rum to steel his nerve (and brought along several "road sodas" for good measure) before uttering these famous words:

"The British are coming! The British are coming! … That's what she said! Get it?! Because [HURK] Ooooh this horse is bumpy! I think I- [VOMITS UNCONTROLLABLY]

This momentous night inspired both Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's "Paul Revere's Ride" and Chamillionaire's "Ridin' Dirty"

Drunk Quotes from History: Paul Revere